Christmas carols can be beautiful reminders of one of the most exciting times of the year. They can also be horrible scourges that make you want to poke sharp objects in your ears. Here are some of the worst offenders.

Vulgar ex-White House chief of staff Rahm Emanuel has a massive lead in early Chicago mayoral polling. And now singer-actress Jennifer Hudson is going help him raise money! He's in great shape, assuming he doesn't get kicked off the ballot.

The lame centrists of the new political group No Labels now have a syrupy theme song by Akon.

Dearly departed bigot Jerry Falwell's legacy includes the conservative Liberty University, which apparently also includes an a cappella student choir group. Here's said choir group performing a Christmas-themed version of Antoine Dodson's "Bed Intruder Song," because why the hell not?

Now that OK Go's music videos have become synonymous with huge, viral hits; the pressure heightens with each new offering. This one's a documentary of the band's 8.5-mile parade through Los Angeles, spelling their name in the city's blocks.

Fresh off of her CMA Awards performance (here) and before the release of her new film, Country Strong—in which she sings!—Gwyneth Paltrow visited Conan O'Brien's program tonight. Guess what... her children hate her singing voice, too! Watch inside.

Tonight, Lambs across America were glued to the television watching Mariah Carey's holiday concert special, which included a duet of "O Come All Ye Faithful/Hallelujah Chorus" with her mother, Patricia. And in true diva style, Carey upstaged Mom. Watch inside.

On tonight's Factor, Bill O'Reilly gave a "Reality Check" to bong-hitting Miley Cyrus regarding a video that surfaced last week showing the teen star smoking the hallucinogen salvia. O'Reilly's assessment of Cyrus' behavior? "Pathetic." Watch him chew her out, inside.

Here's a nice little web exclusive from Conan that your indie pals will love: Zooey Deschanel, M Ward, and Conan O'Brien gathered 'round the dressing room and singing a holiday carol.

Leave it to this hilarious duo to revamp an old Christmas classic that — to be honest — was pretty weird to begin with. Watch David Bowie and Bing Crosby's holiday duet get even weirder in this tribute/homage/parody/whatever it is by the two dudes who brought you Talladega Nights and Stepbrothers.

A full-blown panic over emo music has taken hold of the Armenian capital of Yerevan, after a 15-year-old "emo" kid committed suicide. The Chief of Police warns that kids being into emo music will somehow produce a generation of mutants.

Because Sir Paul is Saturday Night Live's musical guest this week, it makes sense that after hanging around 30 Rock all week, he and Jimmy Fallon had time to rewrite the words to be about waffle fries and scrambled eggs.

When planning your dream wedding, do you fantasize about things like annoying trumpet players, bread piñatas attached to tree branches, and groomsmen falling into dumpsters? No? Well, in that case, you probably won't want to emulate these nuptials. Watch inside.

On the Internet, animated GIFs are the gifts that keep on giving (hah, puns). So there's no better way to celebrate GIFs than with an epically comprehensive, nearly 10-minute video of them, set to "Girl Talk," right? Watch inside.

Even though he's dead, Michael Jackson has an upcoming album, Michael. The first single from said album is a duet with Akon called "Hold My Hand," and here's its music video, featuring lots of children, hand-holding (natch), and, well, sadness.

The most exciting part of the USC-UCLA matchup last weekend had nothing to do with the game itself, because it was all about this red sweatsuit-clad granny who got her freak on—repeatedly!—at a pre-game tailgate party. Watch inside.

Today is the 30th anniversary of John Lennon's assassination. Today is also the day that Celine Dion appeared on Larry King Live, and—during a discussion about Lennon—decided to belt out a verse of "Imagine." How spontaneous! Watch inside.

Bill Cosby was on the Tonight Show last night and to commemorate the occasion he, inexplicably, played a piano solo with the Leno's band. Watch as Bill Cosby rambles nonsensically and then spastically hits random piano keys.

What's better than Billy Joel? How about all of Billy Joel's greatest hits played at once? You have to hear this to believe it.

Coldplay has released an original Christmas tune titled, "Christmas Lights." The video brings all that you've come to expect from a Coldplay, including Elvises playing violins and fireworks.