There are few things more delightful than waking up on an average Monday morning here in Post-Racial America to the following real headline from a column in Ad Age: "Hats Off to the Soft-Drink Industry for Giving Attention to Hispanics and Blacks." Hats off to you, marketers of nutrition-free sugar water! You are trying to sell your product to minorities. You are all the real heroes.
What has happened to the neat and tidy racial divisions placed unto our planet by god himself? I'll tell you what's happened to them: lots of fucking. We can no longer tell who's what just by looking! We can no longer trust our suburban redoubts to be lily-white! We can no longer make convenient racial jokes secure in the knowledge that no one in listening range belongs to one of the ethnicities being mocked! Nooooooo!
You thought that all American Apparel clothing was inspired by Dov Charney's endless parade of sexual fantasies? Not true. Some of it is inspired by Africa! Or as Bambaataa and fey hipsters spell it, Afrika. Is it bad that the company doesn't use any black models for these products? It might be worse if they did use black models, actually. Check out more of this season's most authentic adornments for those in the struggle, after the jump. Real hipsters still have their Cross Colours from '92:
