It's been far too long since the Defamer Special Movie Premiere Food Critic dusted off his tastebuds and filed a report on the latest breakthroughs in Hollywood's appetizer and buffet technologies, but we dragged our gastronomic arbiter of debut galas away from the Blue Plate Special of semi-retirement for another review. Enjoy his assessment of the offerings at Monday night's Monster House premiere, where Sony pandered to the culinary tastes of the same children they were courting with their cinematic product: