It looks like the Noels haven't been banned from Greenwich's Round Hill Club, after all. Daily Intel spoke with the club's manager who assured them that the Noels remain members "in good standing," and also happen to be "very nice people." [Daily Intel]

Bernie Madoff was kicked out of the Palm Beach Country Club a couple of months ago, as we first reported. Now it looks like the Walter and Monica Noel are facing the same sort of rejection. A tipster tells Guest of a Guest that the disgraced family has been booted from Greenwich's Round Hill Club. Update here. [GoaG]

Walter and Monica Noel are looking for someone to rent the family home in Southampton for July and August! Daily Intel reports the 7,000-square-foot home with ten bedrooms, nine-and-a-half baths, six fireplaces, and a heated pool, will run you $350,000 for July and $375,000 for August. There's no telling if FBI agents will stop by one day to dig up the front yard in search of buried treasure, at least you know your summer won't be lacking any drama. [NYM]

Vicky Ward's article on the Noel family from the April issue of Vanity Fair is now online. Don't expect the piece to change your impressions of disgraced hedge fund manager Walter, his wife Monica, or his five daughters and sons-in-law. (Former friends and neighbors describe the family as "irritating," "shameless," and "outlandish," among other things.) And you won't find the Noels to be any closer to figuring out that they've become personas non grata. The couple continue to turn up at parties—even though no one wants to be seen with them—and they keep "a folder of supportive letters from friends" which they pull out when visitors stop by their Greenwich home. Daughter Marisa Noel Brown seems to be adjusting a bit better, though! As she tells friends, "I've been poor before. I can be poor again." [VF]

• It isn't easy being a disposable reality TV star. At the Jill Stuart show on Monday, a publicist barked "Show your fucking ring!" to Bethenny Frankel as The Real Housewives of New York star was getting her photo taken. She's probably used to the abuse, though. Frankel later told a reporter that she used to babysit Paris and Nicky Hilton when they were kids. [AMNY, NYO]
• Lindsay Lohan says her dramatic weight loss is simply the result on "working a lot." Of course it is. [Us]
• Monogamy is so old-fashioned: Alex Rodriguez spent Valentine's Day weekend romancing five different women, while Calvin Klein was spotted in Miami with "two model-type guys." [P6]
• Walter and Monica Noel are laying low at their home in Mustique, although they skipped the private jet and flew commercial to get there. [P6]

If you've been waiting for video of Walter and Monica Noel in all their glory, Business Sheet has a clip of the Madoff enablers from a 2000 British documentary called The Man Who Bought Mustique. Bonus: Wait until the end of the clip and you'll hear the subject of the film describe the couple as "worms" and "frightfully badly behaved snobs." [Business Sheet]

• Madonna's interest in Alex Rodriguez appears may have waned (she's been spotted with a young Brazilian model in recent weeks), but there's another rich, older, equally Kaballah-obsessed woman happy to take her place. At a New Year's party in Parrot Cay last week, Donna Karan seemed smitten with the slugger, although A-Rod "refused Karan's advances" since he's "still hung up on Madonna." [P6]
• Not only are most people on Mustique happy the Noel family stayed off the island this year, but a bar even created a "No Noel" cocktail to celebrate. [P6]
• Lindsay Lohan says on her MySpace blog that she and Samantha Ronson have not broken up, just in case you've been up all night worrying. [People]
• Officials in the Bahamas have completed an autopsy on John Travolta's son, Jett, and claim the death was caused by a seizure. [CBS, NYP]

• Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson got into yet another public spat while heading home to LA after spending New Year's in Miami. Lindsay eventually got so upset a flight attendant suggested LiLo disembark. [TMZ]
• George Soros reportedly spent New Year's partying with "two young brunettes" on Paul Allen's yacht, Octopus, off St. Barts. Now at least we know where son Alex gets it from. [P6]
• Queen Latifah was robbed of $10,000 worth of jewelry while on vacation in Trinidad and Tobago over Christmas. [Us]
• Kathy Griffin made a dick joke during CNN's live NYE broadcast with Anderson Cooper. The video is here, in case you care. [NYP]

It seems we weren't the only ones to call Monica Noel! When the Times of London dialed her up, she mistakenly thought she was talking to a friend and described her plans to attend a wedding in Mexico. Nice to hear the implosion of her husband's business, class-action lawsuits, and tawdry rumors about her daughters isn't impacting her social calendar! [Business Sheet]

We didn't have much success last week getting one of our operatives past Bernie Madoff's doorman, and we really didn't have any interest in trekking to Greenwich to pay a visit to our second favorite villain in the saga, Walter Noel. But could we at least get Walter or his wife Monica on the phone? Ask and ye shall receive. After calling half a dozen numbers and getting nowhere at Walter's office (voicemail), his house in Greenwich (the maid picked up), the Noel home in Southampton (was it one of his infamous daughters who picked up?), and the Noel's apartment on Park Avenue, we finally got a hold of Mrs. Noel herself. You can view the video above to see how it went down. But we're guessing you're going to come to the same conclusion we did: Monica does not sound like a very happy woman these days.

Haven't figured out where to spend the holidays? How does a five-bedroom villa in Mustique next door to Tommy Hilfiger's home sound? Walter and Monica Noel's Caribbean retreat is available for rent for $55,000 a week. With the Noels now thinking about canceling their holiday vacation plans, you might be able to take advantage of the sudden availability if you act quickly enough. Bonus: The home comes with broadband access so if someone else comes along and files suit against Noel in the coming days, you don't have to worry about missing the news! [Business Sheet]

Monica Noel, the wife of disgraced hedge fund manager, protested this week to the Post that she and her husband aren't really all that rich, notwithstanding the $500 million her husband's firm is estimated to have collected just by steering clients to invest with Bernie Madoff: "You write [that] our five daughters were brought up in the lap of luxury in their Greenwich estate. We don't live in an estate. We live in a normal house that was a cottage on two acres." That the "cottage" is just one of five properties that the Noels call home—there's also an apartment on Park Avenue, homes in Southampton and Palm Beach, and a "tropical retreat" in Mustique—Monica's claim doesn't seem to hold much water. But you wouldn't mistake the Noels for heavy-hitting philanthropists, at least judging by the couple's charitable donations in recent years. In 2006 (the last year for which info is available), the Walter and Monica Noel Family Foundation handed out a grand total of $169,000, most of it distributed in amounts of $250 or $500 to organizations like Americares, the YMCA of Greenwich, and the International Rescue Committee. After the jump, the complete list of non-profit groups that benefited from Noel's lucrative relationship with Bernie Madoff.