Mid-day FINANCIAL PANIC report: after dropping 1,000 points this morning, the Dow shot up 600 points, then down another 400 points, and then up again, and now it’s down less than 300 points on the day. Also diamonds are cheaper now, which is nice.

On Friday, the Dow Jones Industrial average fell more than 500 points, capping off the worst stock market week in years. Panic selling has taken hold of nearly every market in the world. As we digest today’s even worse massacre (?), consider: how much should you panic?

Stock markets in America and around the world are cratering again today, just like yesterday. Chinese slowdown, oil glut, commodities rout. Time to panic? Sure, maybe.

The Chinese stock market’s sickening recent plunge potentially endangers the entire global economy, but do not worry: China’s richest investors have already cashed out. Ignorant middle class investor-gamblers, don’t miss this unique chance to jump onto a sinking ship. Buy now!

Grad school—which is just like college, except you have to do more work and less drugs—is very expensive, for some reason. Grad school debt has long been a worryingly large portion of all student debt. And the problem is not going away.

Hedge funds—which, as an asset class, are a scam—charge exorbitant fees in exchange for the sort of top-tier investment skill you supposedly can’t get with a dirt cheap index fund. A new study says that is bullshit.

Thanks to tighter borders and declining numbers of Mexican immigrants, America does not have enough farmworkers to meet demand. Has anyone told the Republicans this???

Another day, another small, symbolic victory for the masses in the class war. It is from symbolic victories like these that real victories are often launched.

If you had to sum up the year 2015 in one short sentence, the most accurate sentence would be, “Gasoline prices are UP, coffee prices are DOWN, but people will still drive their cars to Starbucks—so fuck America, the great Satan.”

When the people who invest billions of dollars for a living get nervous, they tend to start stockpiling cash, anticipating a market collapse. And they are feeling very nervous now!

Today, Hillary Clinton gave her first major speech on her economic policy. “Blah blah working families,” she said. What did she really say?

Cool Pope “Francis” (a nickname) in a speech yesterday “called the unfettered pursuit of money ‘the dung of the devil.’” Damn—now that’s a cool Pope.

JPMorgan Chase will reportedly pay at least $125 million to settle state and federal investigations into illegal debt collection methods. Compared to some of the other stuff they’ve done lately, that’s not bad! Give Jamie Dimon another raise.

China’s stock market, the most high-flying in the world lately, is now mired in its inevitable crash. What rises too high shall fall again. In the long run, it will be okay. Unless you did something stupid.

Now that Greece’s citizens have overwhelmingly rejected the idea of continued financial austerity, the rest of Europe—particularly Germany—must decide whether to continue to hound the broke-ass Greeks to repay their debts. And Germany’s own moral superiority is far murkier than Germans might think.

Last night, Barack Obama announced a big increase in the overtime threshold. For millions of Americans, this could mean a significant earnings increase, and/ or better working conditions. A rare sign of progress in the class war.

Though Gawker.com is not technically in the business of sophisticated financial analysis of the global economy, we must report to you this morning that it may be time to panic.

China’s stock market, almost universally acknowledged to be one of the world’s foremost bubbles, dropped more than 7% today, which is enough to cause widespread speculation that the bubble is popping, but not enough to make Chinese stocks a good investment.

Sensing the way the political winds are blowing, unassembled furniture warehouse Ikea is following the lead of retailers like Walmart and raising the wages of its employees. Will that be enough?

New research from the ACLU is shedding light on just how badly black Americans were economically damaged by the Great Recession of 2008. The racial differences in loss are extremely stark.