American states, counties, and cities routinely offer huge tax incentives and subsidies to private businesses in order to lure those businesses into locating themselves in a particular place. Spend a little to get a lot, the theory goes. Priming the pump of economic development, etc. The problem is that what is supposed to be spending for the public's benefit in fact benefits only private corporations. And it should be outlawed.

If thinking about the dangerous student debt bubble stresses you out, well, just don't read this.

Let us now, on the eve of this blessed holiday season, take moment to bow our heads and reflect upon the myriad miseries suffered by the group most persecuted by this modern world: the extremely wealthy. Thank god you are not in their very, very expensive shoes.

The US Postal Service lost $16 billion this year. I mean. Just. Really now. Come on.

San Bernardino, California filed for bankruptcy last August. It is a poor city, yes. The economy is bad, yes. But why does one city fail while many others like it don't?

In Spain, some banks have stopped evicting some broke homeowners, following multiple suicides. Spain is now full of formerly middle class homeowners adapting to newfound homelessness. In debt-wracked Greece, an austerity budget has yet to produce hope. Things are so bad in Portugal that citizens are fleeing for the more promising shores of Mozambique. Germany, Europe's only savior, is facing its own economic slowdown. A possible source of relief is hard to find. In Japan, a recession looms.

Look at this guy, Opanin Gyaami, right here: he's a dentist, he's 71 years old, and he's still repaying his student loans, from the 1980s! When you see a wacky case like this, it's natural to ask yourself, "Ignoring the fact that Mr. Gyaami is a bad example because his debt is largely due to the fact that he ignored repayment notices for an extended period of time, can we use this wacky story as a 'news hook' to humanize a larger, newsworthy trend?" The answer is: "Yes we can." The trend is that your parents are probably broke, thanks to you.

Remember when Groupon was supposed to be the next big thing? Man. Seems like a long time ago.

The student debt crisis is overhyped! Unless you're young, poor, female, or nonwhite.

Stock market yesterday: up 133. This morning: down almost 200. This tells us Wall Street is horrible at predictions.

Congratulations, I guess, young Americans: " In 2012, for the first time ever, one-third of the nation's 25- to 29-year-olds have completed at least a bachelor's degree." Most college grads ever! This valuable education will help prepare you for a lifetime in which work—if you can find some—never ends, and retirement is but a dream.

Interesting news: a new survey of affluent Americans making over $250K per year found that "49% of respondents said they don't expect their saving or investment plans to change in 2013 no matter who wins the presidential election." They're not worried a bit, one way or another. Isn't that weird?

If you're a poor desperate person looking for a road to economic salvation, you need to stop dreaming about hitting a jackpot on the internet casino, and start looking for a job at an ad agency that helps convince other suckers to blow their money at internet casinos. Advertising for those fuckers is gonna be big.

It's been evident for more than a year now that "for profit colleges"—which is to say, "shitty colleges which exist only to make money and which run a lot of advertisements and which you would never ever recommend to a true friend"—are on the decline, after years of virtually minting money. Enrollment is down across the board. Last week, the University of Phoenix announced it's shutting down half of its physical locations. Could this be... real progress?

The U.S. government is suing Bank of America for one billion fucking dollars, claiming BOA ran a fraudulent and destructive mortgage program during the height of the housing boom. That'll really stick it to... your pension fund, which is invested in BOA stock! Well, at least it's something to cling to. A tiny sliver of hope for justice. A glimpse of the sweet taste of revenge, to tide your over in your remaining lifetime of penury.

The Dow fell 243 points today. Buy the dip, people. Dip, shawty, dip.

It appears that the days of the $2.25 subway ride will soon be coming to an end, a victim of the vicissitudes of progress. As we gaze grimly into the maw of the $2.50 subway ride, let us bow our heads, and elegize:

Says here that 93% of the income gains over the first year of our ongoing economic "recovery" went to the top 1% of earners. Everyone okay with that? *Swivels head briefly* Great. Let's all keep moving in this direction—together.

The level of debt held by the average consumer has fallen to the same level it was in 2006, before the financial collapse, before the recession, before the unemployment and the foreclosures and the bankster wars, when everything was all frothy and the streets of the hastily erected subdivisions were paved with money. If only we could live those go-go glory days once again...

One thing you can do on Friday, at the end of the day, when you have a couple free minutes, is to pick up the phone fire all of your "financial adviser" and "investment consultants" and anyone else who takes money from you in exchange for recommending investments to you. Then just buy some low-cost index funds in a mix of stock and bonds, and then go to bed, because that is what smart people who don't like getting hustled do.