Clockwise from top: Monaco's Prince Albert, baby Prince Hereditaire Jacques Honore Rainier, Princess Charlene, baby Princess Gabriella Therese Marie. Not pictured: Prince Albert's illegitimate children, Princess Charlene's location monitoring device.

Very sad Princess Charlene of Monaco and her husband, very pasty Prince Albert II, have borne the world a gift: a pair of royal Monagesque twins. The Baby Name Critic is not sure how Prince Albert impregnated Princess Charlene, since it appears physical copulation is not an option for the two. But she will not dwell on such a matter on this joyous occasion.

In a few days, eternally-sad-seeming Nicole Kidman's new film is to open the Cannes film festival. In Grace of Monaco, she plays the sad-seeming-in-retrospect Grace Kelly, the movie star and eventual princess of Monaco. And the sadness is still contagious, apparently, now extending to the film's backers because it's been denounced by the Monégasque (it's a great word) royal family as a "farce."

Today we bring you the story of the world's glammest lady: a 30-something Monégasque who drank nothing but soda every day for 16 years.

Meet Pierre Casiraghi, 24-year-old Monegasque prince and grandson of Grace Kelly, pictured here with his sister Princess Charlotte. But be aware: he might look a little bit different after a "vicious" nightclub brawl this weekend — involving Paris Hilton's ex Stavros Niarchos and the former owner of Hawaiian Tropic — that landed him in the hospital.

[Tonight the Sovereign Prince of Monaco hosted the Red Cross charity ball, an incredibly glamorous social event which apparently involves reenacting Star Trek slashfic; pic via Getty]