According to a report in the Guardian, Monica Lewinsky came this close to sitting in the same box as Al Gore this weekend at Cannes before organizers wised up and tossed her out—narrowly averting a crisis, maybe, if this had happened in say, 1998. Mon dieu, quelle horreur. Can you even imagine?

Dominique Strauss-Kahn, the former IMF chief currently employed as an old French pervert, is on trial for pimping and facilitating a global prostitution ring. His testimony so far has been incredible, in that he has said it all with a straight face.

On Thursday art thieves broke into the Museum of Modern Art in Paris and stole $123m of paintings, including a Matisse and a Picasso. Yesterday two men got into the home of a collector in Marseille and stole five works.