I recently came to terms with the fact that, if I ever have babies, I will probably give them ridiculous names. (Elbow Macaroni O'Connor.) This is because I lack self-determination and thus am perpetually at the mercy of pointless trends, and also because people with cool names are actually cooler than the rest of us. I am certain of this because, as a young female with a lame old lady name, I am human evidence of the inverse of this principle.

As the Romney clan scrambles to clean up its social media presence, Buzzfeed reporter and Mormon whisperer McKay Coppins highlights the "Mormon mommy blog" of Mary Romney, daughter-in-law of Mitt and wife of Craig. Mary made her blog private when Coppins came asking questions, which is really too bad, because now we don't the context of this 2007 Halloween photo. Apparently Craig is "dressed as his dad," but what the hell is Mary?

Is there anything worse than mommy bloggers? That is a rhetorical question because if you have two firing synapses, you know the answer to that question. Now one of them is all up in arms about a Manhunt billboard that dared to be on the way to her child's school.