If only the biggest mistake (or eight) of your life was worth "millions of dollars." Porn distributor Vivid Entertainment is making a play to distribute the former Miss California's sex tapes—which it allegedly has in its possession, already.

Did you know that God wanted her to be Miss Universe but then I guess God changed his mind and made her a martyr to political correctness instead, or something? It's true! But don't worry: "even though I didn't win the crown that night, I know that the Lord has so much of a bigger crown in Heaven for me." That's right: she is going to die and become Jesus.

Noted wind victim Carrie "Miss Opposite Marriage" Prejean is suing three Miss California USA officials for firing her because of her religions beliefs, even though that is not actually why they fired her.

Reality TV star Donald Trump was on Letterman tonight braying about how much he loves pageant broads and how Carrie Prejean was crucified on a wooden cross just like Jesus because mean people hate her for being so damn hot.

The attorney for Carrie Prejean, disgraced pageant broad and the most wind-maligned human in world history, is claiming that she's the victim of an evil plot by dastardly pageant officials who want to destroy her, and is threatening a lawsuit.

Donald Trump, who owns the Miss USA operation, wouldn't take away Carrie Prejean's Miss California crown after she bashed gay marriage or when she posed nekkid. So what's a fireable offense? Apparently, thou shalt not be more famous than him.

Well this is certainly a ripe little gossip story—-Remember Carrie Prejean, disgraced anti-gay marriage pageant broad and perhaps the most wind-maligned person in all of human history? Well, Star is claiming that Prejean's mother is a SECRET LESBIAN!

Disgraced pageant broad Carrie Prejean was all over the morning shows today, braying about how she's NEVER willingly posed nude, but, ugh, you know, there's a chance even more nude photos of her may emerge.

Who shall stand up in defense of no-offense-but-no-gaymars-please Miss California, Carrie Prejean? Besides certain parts of the straight male anatomy, HAHA? Tabloidian sex fiend Andrea Peyser shall! Hark:

Carrie Prejean, the Miss California who hates gay marriage and does porn, was pardoned today by Donald Trump. She'll keep her crown! But not before she gives a teary, terrible speech.

Should Carrie Prejean, the beauty pageant contestant who hates gay people even more than cellulite, be executed? Some say "Yes." Others say "Free Speech." Now the decision has fallen to bouffanted ethics professor Donald Trump.

Oh no, everyone is being all mean to Carrie California because she is an idiot and she subscribes to some of the more popular bigotries! Lady should be thanking the Homosexualist Agenda.

"I would like to nominate Miss California as the new face of the marriage movement," NOM head Maggie Gallagher recently said. A wonderful idea, she'll fit right in with the rest of the GOP leadership!

Another reason to hate California. Their Miss USA entrant, Carrie Prejean, doesn't think gays should marry, she announced live on the pageant Sunday night. She was on the Today show this morning elaborating her point.