Actor/reality star/Mini-Me Verne Troyer starred in a bit of security theatre over the weekend when he was subjected to ... well, whatever's going on in this photo. "TSA struggles," he wrote on Facebook.

After working with Ledger in Terry Gilliam's The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus just before his death, Troyer was moved to replicate part of the actor's signature—a heart—as a tattoo on his hand. Troyer recounted his memories in a sober, touching story that belied its setting: an episode of the UK's Celebrity Big Brother. Luckily, Troyer managed to keep the moment respectful; the only flicker of inappropriate reality show camp came just before he began, as the narrator noted, "4:48 pm. Coolio is in the kitchen." [ONTD]

Just when it seemed that the Verne Troyer abuse imbroglio couldn't sink any lower, his ex, Ranae Shrider, drops a new bombshell: the diminutive actor used to attack her dogs with his reaching stick! Says Shider's rep, Holly Bannon, to Us Weekly:

Allow us to recap the long, strange saga of Verne Troyer and his live-in girlfriend Ranae Shrider: first, there was the sex tape. Then, there were the accusations and overly detailed explanations of the erstwhile Mini-Me's sexual prowess. Now Troyer is accusing Shrider of assaulting him in ways that will no doubt give Mike Myers some new ideas for Austin Powers 4. Says TMZ:

· Things we learned at the Los Angeles Film Festival this week. School Of Rock 2 isn't a pipe dream. Guillermo del Toro isn't going to milk The Hobbit. Women deserve equal talk show hosting rights, too. Nobody wanted to make Animal House. Chris Carter is as secretive as ever. Did somebody order stake?
· The battle between the Paps and the Surfs was kinda like the Greasers versus the Socs, only with the newly blackberry-less Matthew McConaughey playing the role of Dally. But what of the rematch?
· Mini-Me showed the world his mini-me, which should help him knock down that large tax debt.
· Raffaello Follieri, Anne Hathaway's sketchball ex, got pinched for attempting to defraud God. A judge set bail at $21 million, but who's gonna take care of the dog?
· Mary Kate Olsen de-pruned herself long enough to convince Dave Letterman that her old arch enemy Spencer Pratt is, indeed, a prat.
· No one was safe as we counted down the Hollywood's Top Ten Worst Kissers.
· Wall-E manged to get fatties and Republicans up in arms without saying a word.
· Whoa, who raped the Coreys? One mystery solved, one to go.
· AC Slater found himself embroiled in Chesthairgate.
· The Emasculation of Joshua continued, as Katherine Heigl used her whipped husband as an ashtray and made him curl her hair. Joshua did not escape unscathed.
· You can ongratulate Jason Bateman on the impending Arrested Development movie, but be sure you don't bring up pregnant teens.
· We had a dream. We had an awesome dream. Mainly b/c it was filled with lesbian werewolves.
·: Noted blog-hater Patrick Goldstein entered the blogosphere. We can only guess how many of his 1,100 pageviews came from his IP address.
· Which groovy comedy superstar is openly courting other men to touch his monkey? Perhaps they should frequent the Fox and Sony lots?
· Shit, piss, fuck, cunt, cocksucker, motherfucker, tits. We'll miss you, George.

The math is adding up much better today in the Mini-Me Sex Tape "Scandal" that so devastated our frail culture this week, especially now that we're learning more about the $283,000 in taxes that Verne Troyer reportedly owes in California and Michigan. It's kind of a stunning amount in relation to the 32-inch-tall actor, but considering the $20 million lawsuit he's leveled at the part-time porn purveyors at TMZ, at least it looks like he might come out ahead once Uncle Sam gets his cut.