The Interior Department has renamed its perennially incompetent Minerals Management Service the "Bureau of Ocean Energy Management, Regulation and Enforcement," so now there will be no more oil spills and we can all shut up.

Chris Oynes, associate director for offshore energy and minerals management at at the Minerals Management Service—a.k.a. "the guy in charge of making sure what just happened doesn't happen"—is resigning after 35 years of not doing his job.