Paul "Bear" Vasquez—or as he's known online, "Double Rainbow Guy"—is star of a new ad for Windows Live Photo Gallery. While we're happy to see an internet meme crossover to TV land, we're not entirely sold.

Having been surpassed by Apple in smartphones, tablet computers and even market capitalization, Microsoft is reportedly undergoing something of an internal crisis: Senior executives are said to want to push out CEO Steve Ballmer. Oh, the humiliation.

As the iPhone's reception problems exploded into a major controversy, Steve Jobs was trying to enjoy a vacation on Hawaii's Big Island with his family, according to a spy who says he saw the Apple CEO at Kona Village Resort.

So that alleged Russian spy who worked as a Microsoft software tester for nine months had a Facebook profile, which you can see after the jump. How did people not catch on to this guy? The clues were all there.

Apple's market capitalization surpassed Microsoft's today. Only Exxon Mobil is larger, among public U.S. companies.

According to Microsoft, one in five email messages is a status update from a social networking site. To help you deal with that, they are teaching you how to turn off email updates. No! Wait! They are revamping Hotmail.

Was Bill Gates forcing tweens to sext each other with a sexy new campaign? The software behemoth yanked a spot for the Zune of cell phones, the Kin, that was accusing of promoting "sexting." There are also furries.

Steve Jobs seduced New York's media moguls all too easily, convincing them his iPad would magically keep them in business — and in chauffeured limos. But nothing easy comes free, and the publishers' digital debt is now due.

Even though the lines weren't as intimidating as expected, sales numbers prove that the iPad release was a success this weekend. So is jealousy why Microsoft Store employees are shooing people who are showing off their new tablets away?

Microsoft is testing a Twitter clone called OfficeTalk, which apparently combines Twitter's corrosiveness to productivity with all of the stifled boredom your corporate intranet. Look, they copied the hashtags, follower counts and everything.

The co-owner of the Spitfire pub at Microsoft HQ now works for the software company's archenemy Google. Talk about hedging your investments. (NB to Microsofties: We hear the Google-friendly pub spikes your drinks with a productivity-killing chemical. It's called "alcohol.")

Steve Ballmer has seen the future, and it's Twitter. Microsoft's CEO seemed far more excited by the microblogging startup than any of the offerings from his company during a three-and-a-half minute discussion with the BBC about coming technology.

Losing the remote is as universally human a problem as they come. Luckily for us, the good people over at Microsoft are going to eliminate that problem by putting control of your electronic devices right on your skin. Meet Skinput.

Cryptome, the secret-destroying web site that was shuttered by a copyright complaint from Microsoft after it published the company's confidential guide for law enforcement agencies who want to spy on its customers, is back up after Microsoft withdrew its complaint.

Since 1996, cryptome.org has posted documents people want to keep secret. Then the site published a confidential Microsoft document that revealed how much information the company keeps on users. Today, Microsoft succeeded in shutting the site down.

It looks like Microsoft is trying to make key executives look younger and cooler with new clothes and haircuts. This is certainly one way to try and unseat the iPhone and PlayStation among college kids.

[Bill Gates parties down at a Sundance party hosted by Microsoft's Bing search engine, at the House of Hype. Image (plus more dancin' pics!): DailyTruffle, via GuestofaGuest]

Gates and co have admitted that a weakness in Internet Explorer allowed the Chinese government (allegedly) to attack the Gmail accounts of human rights activists, prompting Google to leave the country. And potentially causing a diplomatic incident.

Have you heard about Office 10? You haven't!?!! Well, lean back and let this two minute long pun fest teach you absolutely nothing about Microsoft's latest suite of office software. Warning: easy jokes and hard sells ahead.

Microsoft recently made Microsoft 7 promotional videos with Family Guy and then at the last second decided to pull them off of television. However they have now leaked them onto a YouTube channel for your viewing enjoyment.