A mere three detectives are working on the Michael Jackson case.

• Are Derek Jeter and Minka Kelly "secretly engaged" and planning to get married this fall? That's what an "insider" is now telling Page Six, for what it's worth. [P6]
• Parker Posey has bowed out of an off-Broadway play, but sushi doesn't appear to be the culprit: Parker has been diagnosed with lime disease, according to people involved with the show. [NYP]
• Redmond O'Neal, the troubled son of Farrah Fawcett and Ryan O'Neal, plans to star in his own reality show once he's released from prison. He says he's only doing it to "honor his mother," but then again you probably knew that. [NYDN]
• The police released video footage yesterday of the robbers breaking into Lindsay Lohan's house last weekend. If you spot anyone familiar, feel free to call the cops. Or congratulate them. Or whatever. [NYP]

Lindsay Lohan wants a reality show. So does Redmond O'Neal. Meanwhile, Derek Jeter may be getting a dose of married life, and Avril Lavigne may soon be a single gal. All that and way more in your Thursday Gossip Roundup...

People are stupid. Pure and simple. Take, for example, rumors circulating that Michael Jackson, like Tupac and Elvis, still walks among us. Why would people believe such an outlandish thing? Again: they're stupid. And then there's this...

Anna Wintour wants to stay out of the limelight, Lily Allen's friends talk trash, and Mel Gibson's girlfriend's unborn child is totally making her fat. All that and more in your Wednesday morning Gossip Roundup!

Michael Jackson's death has obviously helped thrust his record sales, memorabilia and hangers-on into the celebrity stratosphere. No group, however, benefited more than his family, who are all of a sudden relatively relevant again. The ultimate sign: a reality show...

• Just when you think members of the Jackson family can't possibly stoop any lower comes confirmation they've agreed to do a reality TV show for A&E. It's going to be "genuine," says the show's producer. Clearly. [THR]
• Because the public has been clamoring for 24/7 access to fake wrestling matches, the WWF is now hoping to start up its own cable network. [NYP]
• More on what went down when Vogue editor Anna Wintour sat down to chat with David Letterman on his show last night. [WWD]
• Sony unveiled its electronic reading gizmo/Kindle competitor today. [NYT]
• The Observer's Jason Horowitz is leaving for the Washington Post. [NYO]
• A homeless woman has scored a four-month internship at Elle. Just wait until Elle "employee" Olivia Palermo gets her hands on her on the next season of The City. Homelessness, we presume, will never have looked so good. [Gawker]

• Is Kate Middleton, Prince William's girlfriend, planning to move to New York? Possibly! [DM]
• A coroner has ruled Michael Jackson's death was due to lethal levels of the anesthetic Propofol in his body, which may very well pave the way for prosecutors to file manslaughter charges against Jackson's doctor, Conrad Murray. [MSNBC, People, NYDN]
• In other Jackson family news, Barbara Walters has landed the first interview with LaToya Jackson, which will air on September 11. Exciting, huh? [ABC]
• Jessica Biel is the most dangerous celebrity on earth—at least when it comes to computer viruses. People who seek out info on Biel online stand a one-in-five chance of visiting a site "designed to damage their computer." [Us]

Dr. Susan Essien Etok, a friend who claims Michael Jackson asked her to help him get drugs, wrote to President Obama and urged him to take harsher action against physicians who help celebrities, like Heath Ledger, get drugs. [TMZ]

The L.A. County coroner has ruled the King of Pop's death was caused by an overdose of anesthetic. Today's screaming headlines aside, the trial about one doctor's incompetence sounds more sad than sensational.

Emma Roberts left her mark on her boyfriend, Amy Winehouse can't kick her ex-husband, Paris Jackson took Las Vegas and Candace Bushnell doesn't like the c-word. Good morning! Here's your Monday Gossip Roundup...

Cameron Diaz and Keanu Reeves are allegedly dating, Spencer Pratt wants to be the next Brad Pitt, Michael Jackson's gay lover speaks, Hayden Panettiere is dating the Pink Taco dude, Lindsay Lohan loses her phone and Penelope Cruz gets thicker.

• Lindsay Lohan left her cell phone at a deli yesterday. When she returned a few minutes later to retrieve it, an employee refused to give it back to her. LiLo wasn't too pleased to hear that, of course. (Let's hope the Italian ice she's holding made up for it.) But most of the time, she only has herself to blame for her troubles. Yesterday she tweeted that she was at a store in SoHo. But then she got annoyed when a gazillion photographers materialized outside a few minutes later. [Sun, P6]
• Salman Rushdie was spotted making out with a hot, young babe at the Inglourious Basterds party at the Standard Grill the other night. [P6]
• Jennifer Aniston supposedly "feels rejected and upset" after Bradley Cooper dropped her and started dating Renee Zellweger. [Us]
• Speaking of Zellweger, she used her appearance on David Letterman's show last night to promote the Blue Parrot, the Mexican restaurant she co-owns with Ron Perelman, Jon Bon Jovi, and Larry Gagosian, among others. [People]

Michael Jackson's personal doctor, Dr. Conrad Murray, is going to be arrested for manslaughter, possibly as early as next week. His personal dermatologist (and possible babydaddy), Dr. Arnold Klein, is also going down. Cable news is already licking its lips.

• Kate Moss took notice of those photos of her in St. Tropez last month looking a little worse for the wear. She's supposedly changing up her lifestyle in an effort to "look 10 years younger," and she'll be eating healthier food, drinking less alcohol, and smoking fewer cigarettes from now on. [DM]
• Vogue editrix Anna Wintour was "advised" to leave her trademark sunglasses at home when she turns up as a guest on Dave Letterman's show next week. It was advice she didn't much appreciate, however. [P6]
• Gayle King demoted? Oprah says Jay-Z is her "new best friend." [People]
• Mariah Carey's new album hasn't been beset with problems. The decision to push back the release date, so it's one day too late to qualify for the Grammys? That's because she's fighting back against the system, don't you see? [NYDN]

Dr. Conrad Murray, Michael Jackson's personal physician and the man authorities believe injected him with a lethal dose of the surgical anesthetic Diprivan, issued a message late this afternoon to his supporters on YouTube.

• Agyness Deyn isn't bidding goodbye to NYC, after all. But her little sister's moved in with her. [Grazia]
• Just before he died, Michael Jackson was supposedly in talks to launch a clothing line with Christian Audigier. Naturally, the slight turn of events isn't putting Audigier off from moving ahead with a Jackson-themed line. [MSNBC, SW]
• In news that will be of precious little value to you, Rachel Zoe's QVC collection is hitting Fashion Week this year; Kenny Chesney is launching a line of clothing; and some company is under the impression the public wants a collection of Desperate Housewives-inspired perfumes.
• Betsey Johnson chats with PlumTV about her retirement plans. [PlumTV]

"Spike Lee is organizing a block party-style celebration in Brooklyn to mark Michael Jackson's birthday. The filmmaker's bash in Kings County for the late King of Pop will be on Aug. 29, when Jackson would have turned 51." Naturally, Marty Markowitz, Brooklyn's useless borough president, plans to be fully involved with the planned celebration. He will proclaim that Aug. 29 is officially "Michael Jackson Day"—in Brooklyn, at least. [AP]

Demi and Rumer enjoy some male stripper action, Jessica Simpson angles for an American Idol gig, the fate of Michael Jackson's corpse remains a creepy mystery, Lady Gaga abuses men, Britney sports a new bikini, and Hugh Grant contemplates retirement.

• George Michael is back in the news and, as usual, it has nothing to do with his music. The singer was arrested on Friday for driving drunk when he crashed his car into a truck. Michael, however, is insisting he was sober at the time. So maybe he's just a bad driver? [NYDN, E!]
• Is Joe Simpson trying to push the producers of American Idol to hire Jessica Simpson to replace Paula Abdul? That's the rumor. [P6]
• Amy Winehouse's soon-to-be ex-husband, Blake Fielder-Civil says the singer has been "begging him to get back together." Uh oh. [DM]
• Beyoncé has been brushing up on her dance skills by "secretly" enrolling in ballet lessons at the Alvin Ailey School of Dance. [NYDN]