In your almost-Spring Wednesday media column: layoffs at Billboard, Comcast calls the FBI, the continued decline of lunch, and the future of newspapers is here!

• Daily News owner Mort Zuckerman is cutting employee benefits. [NYP]
• Former Self editor and Bernie Madoff victim Alexandra Penney has landed a book deal with Voice, an imprint of Disney's Hyperion Books. [NYT]
• A few photos of Michelle Obama from the new issue of Vogue. [HP]
• How SI's Selena Roberts landed the Alex Rodriguez steroid story. [NYO]
• Former NYDN editor Michael Cooke is leaving Chicago for Toronto. [CT]
• John Grisham is close to signing a big e-book deal with Random House. [WSJ]
• The Justice Department plans to investigate the proposed (and controversial) merger of Ticketmaster and Live Nation. [AP]

Michael Cooke, the editor of the Chicago Sun-Times and former editor of the NY Daily News, made almost $250,000 last month by flipping a condo in Donald Trump's new Chicago high rise. A far less lucrative investment: a job at the Chicago Sun-Times. [Chicago Business]

After a just 10 rocky months at the helm, former Daily News EIC Michael Cooke scampered away, returning to Chicago, where he had served as the EIC of the Sun-Times from 2000-2005. He has since been serving as the VP of editorial operations for the Chicago group of papers at Hollinger, the Sun-Times' parent company. Since then, nobody's heard much — but his memory lived on in Tabloid Wars, the Daily News doc that was filmed while he was still slurring about the office.

To compensate for your short-term memory loss, a recap of some major shifts at the Daily News: Colleen Curtis recently left her position as Managing Editor Features for the warmth of Diane Sawyer's lap at Good Morning America. Even more recently, editor-in-chief Michael Cooke left — after a mere ten months at the helm — to return to Chicago, where he'll hopefully get his shoe fetish under control.

The Daily News is, naturally, still reeling from last week's announcement that editor-in-chief Michael Cooke, after only 10 months at the tab, will be returning the big shoulders of Hollinger Inc.'s Chicago-area papers. E&P has more on how the News will go on without him:

• John Huey is finally initiated as the successor to Norm Pearlstine's editorship at Time Inc. The ceremony involved branding, hazing, and some tasty swag.
• Daily News EIC Michael Cooke barely lasts 10 months before scampering back to the Windy City. At least he'll be taking a nice, new pair of shoes home with him.
• The Upper East Side's finest brats open their own under-18 Chelsea nightclub, where they won't be drinking or blowing rails.
• Fabulist Jayson Blair returns to the Times building, but naturally lies about the incident.
• Actor Chris Klein attends the Condé Nast holiday luncheon!
• We haven't sold out to the New York Times Company, but can you imagine if we did?
• Body-armor magnate David H. Brooks breaks all records for nauseating indulgence by throwing his daughter, Elizabeth, a $10 million bat mitzvah at the Rainbow Room, complete with A-list entertainment and princess costumes.
• Woody Allen graces Lincoln Center, prompting us to recall when his films were consistently good.