• Barbara Gutmacher Girard and her mother Rose are teaming up to sell their apartments at the Plaza. The two units on the building's 18th-floor, which Barbara and Rose bought last year for $4.74 million and $3.4 million, respectively, are listed separately for $8.995 million and $5.995 million. Or you can buy the matching apartments as a package deal. Don't expect any sort of bulk discount, however. The two apartments combined are priced at $14.990 million. [Cityfile, BHS, BHS]
• Vicki Rosen-Solomon, the widow of private equity executive Adam Solomon, has gone into contract to sell her co-op at 956 Fifth Avenue. The three-bedroom apartment, which the couple purchased in 2002, was first listed this past September for $14.575 million. [Cityfile, Stribling]

BigLips Lohan's claim of rescuing Indian children? Notsomuch. A Christmas tree at Hotel Griffou takes one for the team. Kardashians: God hates you. Halle Berry's still hot. And #servicey! Patti Smith: hotness. Presenting your Sunday Morning Gossip Roundup.

[Photographer David LaChapelle cannonballs makeup artist Sharon Gault and sopping wet socialite Daphne Guinness on Saturday at the party for his 'Bliss Amongst Chaos' exhibit at Art Basel in Miami. Step inside to see even more. Image via Getty]

Charles Perez was the perfect blow-dried sex symbol Miami news anchor. But he was gay, and last week he was fired. And while the station say Perez's gay-ness was immaterial, he says it had everything to do with getting canned.

Charles Perez is a purportedly Hottt Miami news anchor—or should we say 'was???' First, his personal email about his 'gender identity issues' got leaked to everybody at work, and now he's been fired! For unrelated reasons, allegedly.

Oh pity the poor denizens of Williamsburg. The erosion of hipster trust funds is leading their greasy little utopia to slowly devolve into some sort of Mad Max-esque, post-apocalyptic real estate wasteland, just like Miami! So says New York Magazine.

A guy in Miami made up a fake woman's online profile and lured Fidel Castro's son into sexy internet chats. Big news, or just like every other unintentionally male-on-male sexy internet chat?

It can't be that often that priests have a chance to do some good for the world, can it? Well Father Alberto Cutié, the Miami celebripriest and admitted woman-liker, does. And he's shirking his duty.

A Catholic priest in a sex scandal? Who cares, after everything we've already been through? Well this one is an attractive, popular man, caught with a not-underage woman. Let's condemn his normality!

[Singer Katy Perry in Miami today, protecting herself from Swine Flu; image via Splash]

ShamWow! guy Vince Shlomi was arrested for a bloody fight with a tongue-biting prostitute in Miami. Now The Smoking Gun has the police photos of both victims, and the crime scene. They're ugly.

Lenny Kravitz hasn't been able to unload his Crosby Street condo despite numerous efforts over the past few years to find a buyer. For Lenny's sake, let's hope his real estate curse is just a local phenomenon and doesn't have wings. The rocker put his Miami Beach mansion on the market this week. The 5,717-square-foot spread, which he bought for $725,000 in 1996, is currently listed for $2.85 million. No word on any package deals, unfortunately, but there's no harm in asking. [SBCB via Real Estalker]

[Britney Spears on vacation in Miami; image via Splash]

Like a depressing microcosm of the problems afflicting the world at large, Miami Art Basel was a shadow of its former wild and ostentatious self and has drawn to a close, leaving debt, hangovers, and photos of Pamela Anderson's ass in its wake. Despite elaborate prevarication from certain onlookers, the combination of thinner crowds, a subdued mood, and desperate discounts left no one in any doubt that the art bubble has truly burst.

As we noticed yesterday, certain quarters of the media seem to be under the impression that if, like a child covering his ears and shouting "lalalalala," they pretend that the scene down at the Miami Art Basel is as glitzy and cash-soaked as ever, people will believe it. "Recession schmession," crows Blackbook. "From the rumor that UBS would not tone down their annual dinner and gala—even amid scandal speculation—to the abundance of caviar on hors d'ouvre [sic] trays, it all smells like decadence to me." Well, it might smell like it, but to the dealers and artists actually trying to make money, "it's all about markdowns and modest expectations," reports New York's Alexandra Peers in a dispatch entitled "Kmart Special Time at Art Basel Miami."

Last year sad old party boy Jay McInerney went to Art Basel Miami Beach, the American version of the fabulous Swiss art fair, and dutifully chronicled the schmoozy, hideous glitz of its high-end billionaire clientele, its so-un-self-aware-it's-almost-hip pretension, its insanely high sales figures. What a horror show it was! A horror show that stands to be repeated this year (December 4th - 7th) except for one tiny problem: ain't but nobody buyin' art in these penurious and precarious times. So what will the champagne and caviar-dribbled festivities look like compared to last year? We'll take some of our favorite McInerney anecdotes from last year and reimagine them for this ruined age after the jump.

It looks like Wyclef Jean and Damon Dash will have lots to chat about the next time they get together. The former Fugees star's mansion in Miami Beach has gone into foreclosure and is set to be auctioned off in three weeks. (Dash's own apartment troubles were revealed in August.) Palm Beach Post gossip columnist Jose Lambiet reports that Wyclef and several partners took out a $2 million mortgage in 2004 to purchase a canal-front estate next door to Anthony Shriver, the brother of Maria Shriver Schwarzenegger. He later embarked on a massive renovation of the property, but never ended up paying off more than $177,000 in construction costs, leading to the first in a series of liens and fines and leaving the home unfinished for more than two years. (Perhaps Wyclef should have been counting his pennies and not investing in his porn collection?) Court documents now show that Wyclef and his partners owe the bank $2.4 million, and the home is scheduled to be auctioned off on December 12th. A photo of the half-finished manse after the jump!

Members of Soho House will have a new place to mingle with Eurotrash by the end of 2009: The private club's parent company, Soho House Ltd., has acquired the The Sovereign Hotel on Collins Avenue in Miami Beach and says it plans to turn the property into its latest outpost, with a boutique hotel, rooftop bar, pool, spa, and screening room. [GlobeSt via TRD]

Nude supermodel photo scandal lawsuit alert! An anonymous model has filed suit in Miami against Egotastic.com and Splash photo agency for taking pictures of her sunbathing in her birthday suit (NAKED) in her own backyard—"as is often done by professional models to avoid tan lines." Invasion of privacy and emotional distress! But who is this mysterious, super-beautiful plaintiff? She helpfully includes several clues [UPDATE: the case may already be cracked!]:

Lindsay "The Dragon" Lohan made many Miami shopkeepers very nervous as she strolled along with lifetime companion Samantha Ronson and the rest of the Ronson family. Lohan appeared to be emitting more smoke than usual, perhaps due to the stress of meeting Ronson's family. Not even a trip to the American Apparel store could quell the dragon's nerves.