Long before he met with Sean Penn for an interview that would lead, at least partly, to his recapture last week, lawyers for Joaquín “El Chapo” Guzmán applied to have his name trademarked, the Guardian reports, citing Mexican journalist Carlos Loret de Mola.

Donald Trump was all excited this morning that his suit line was debuting at Macy's. Well, it seems like it's about a step away from being on sale at Daffy's because, as Mogulite pointed out, the suits are already 70% off.

Back when Jersey Shore first started, it was met by protests from the local tourist board. We suggested residents of Seaside Heights embrace their new image. Well, they have, and it's gone horrifically awry.

You've surely seen a copy of it on the walls of your local Sunday school, A.A. meeting, or weed-filled hipster apartment, ironically: Footprints in the Sand, the mawkish little poem/ parable about Jesus carrying you when you couldn't carry yourself. The work has become a gold mine of merchandising opportunities, which is what everyone, including Jesus, really cares about (sandals aren't free). So naturally three different people have been squabbling for years over who wrote it. Now, the son of one proclaimed author is taking the other claimants to court for copyright infringement. Sigh. It would really be tidier if Jesus could just settle this himself. After the jump, the three slightly different versions of the poem that claim to be the original. One thing we can all agree on is that god needs to pick more creative messengers: