Former Teen Mom Farrah Abraham, fresh from landing what she claims is a $544,000 contract to dance at an Austin, Tex. strip club, has wisely reinvested the money in her burgeoning frozen yogurt business. Just kidding: She bought a very expensive new car.

Alabama's draconian anti-immigration law has appropriately cleansed the state of brown-skinned immigrants, but has its enforcement gotten out of control? The recent arrest of a non-Hispanic, German Mercedes-Benz executive suggests that it has.

How can you stay mad at Antoine Dodson? He's like the rape-whistle-blowing bastard love child of Chris Rock and Miss J. Alexander, beamed down from Planet YouTubia for our personal amusement. Here he is at a court appearance to answer to charges of marijuana possession. In his BEENNZ. The guy can only communicate in viral video-ese! He's a viral video savante. Little Man 'Toine. God bless him. [YouTube]

[A man inspects a Mercedes limo that was once owned by Elvis Presley and which was auctioned off along with other automotive collectibles in England today. Image via Getty]

New York City's economy must really be on the mend. Mercedes is planning to construct a ginormous 333,000-square-foot flagship on 11th Avenue, which it's hoping will set "the style standard for all other Mercedes dealers around the country." Alas, Jay-Z and Beyoncé will have to wait a bit before they can head to the futuristic, glassy showroom to pick up their next Maybach: It won't open its doors until the beginning of 2011. [NYT]

Poor, sad sack Glenn Beck has even more woes than just unwarranted, and ill-advised, threats on his life. Eleven more companies have decided to pull their ads from his Fox News program. Who are they?

Click to viewBoomp3.com Emotions ran high outside of popular Italian restaurant Il Sole on Monday night as Goldie Hawn attempted to come to grips with her missing car. The valet brought a series of silver Mercedes Benz, but none of them belonged to the Cactus Flower star. Eventually, Hawn’s silver Benz emerged from its seclusion. The valets could not come up with an answer for the confusion other than simply suggesting that people look into another color for their Mercedes Benz. [Photo Credit: X17] *A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.