Hey, it's Clarissa Darling—but all grown up!? Enter Clarissa Now, a 1995 pilot for CBS starring a college-aged Clarissa. This time, she's explaining it all about her foray into the professional world as an intern at a newspaper.

ABC Family billed last night as a "Mid-Season Finale," which is a roundabout way of saying they've ordered another 20 installments of Melissa & Joey. No word yet on how many others will spotlight Joey's biceps and Melissa's noisy orgasms.

Senator/Grandpa Burke arrives just in time to explain some of the show's bizarre familial backstory, which puts the "situation" in Situation Comedy. Unsurprisingly—and awesomely—the character is cut from the same cloth as Mona from Who's the Boss?

What do you do when you try to get a date but you're embarrassed about your nanny job? According to tonight's episode of Melissa and Joey: you lie. Watch as Clarissa—I mean, Melissa—explains it all to Joey.

Today at Gawker.TV, Stephen Colbert wishes President Obama had announced the war's end with more gusto, Melissa Joan Hart talks about child stars, and Jennifer Aniston and Jon Stewart awkwardly recall the date they went on over 15 years ago.

Poster girl for early-90s Nickelodeon appeared on Today to talk about her new sitcom (that also stars Joey Lawrence—whoa!) When Hoda Kotb asks how she's so put-together, Hart reveals her current suburban life in Connecticut with her family.

In this clip from the second episode — which aired after the pilot Tuesday — stockbroker-turned-nanny Joey is moving himself into aunt-turned-guardian Melissa's basement. It may be the very definition of "situation comedy," but the actors are irreverent and likable.

There is no reason why the hoofers on Dancing with the Stars should be the only ones to make profit from the show. While they're endorsing diet plans and signing deals, we're going to bet cash on the winner.

Courtney Love sitting on a stoop with a friend in the West Village ... Usher arriving at JFK ... Whitney Port hanging out with a friend in SoHo ... LeBron James walking around in Harlem ... Lindsay Lohan heading into Blue & Cream on Bowery ... Donald Sutherland carrying luggage outside the London NYC in Midtown ... Diane Sawyer walking in Times Square ... Queen Latifah getting in a limo ... Rihanna going to dinner at Scalinatella on East 61st Street ... Alessandra Ambrosio carrying daughter Anja Louise in the Village ... Tracy Morgan sitting down on the set of A Couple of Cops in Brooklyn ... Ashley Tisdale grabbing coffee with boyfriend Scott Speer ... Melissa Joan Hart walking in Midtown ... Michelle Pfeiffer getting out of an SUV outside ABC Studios ... George Lopez leaving his hotel in Midtown ... Robert Pattinson filming scenes for his new movie, Remember Me, in Greenwich Village ... and Heidi Klum leaving Bar Pitti.

Today in celebrity fluff: Amy Winehouse is a morning drinker, Eminem was robbed, Lindsay Lohan storms through London, Simon Cowell reaches out to help Susan Boyle, Lily Allen has a nip slip, and Paris Hilton may get married this summer.

Kelly Bensimon's a glutton for punishment, thespian Whitney Port's nuanced acting critiques, two babies, two 90s stars, a Clinton house (hunting) party, and some Communist dick is always just some Communist dick: presenting your Sunday morning gossip roundup.

Victoria Beckham is turning 35 today. Jennifer Garner is turning 37. Actress Monet Mazur is 33. Liz Phair turns 42. The rapper Redman is turning 39. Architect Costas Kondylis is 69. Writer Cynthia Ozick is 81. Former football star Boomer Esiason is turning 47. Author Nick Hornby is 52. And television exec Henry Schleiff turns 61 today. Weekend birthdays after the jump.