29-year-old "socialite" Melissa Berkelhammer — who lives alone, is supported by her parents, and has no job or talents to speak of other than mugging for Patrick McMullan's camera and saying incredibly stupid things in the presence of an Observer reporter — sure is getting her money's worth out of publicist R. Couri Hay, who she pays a mere $2500/month to ensure her presence on the best guest lists and near the most eligible i-bankers. Yesterday, New York Social Diary grand captioneer David Patrick Columbia nobly came to Berkelhammer's defense, noting that social climbing has always been part of the game: the Rockefellers paid someone to keep their name in the papers and Brooke Astor was accused of marrying for money (as if the poor old thing hasn't been through enough, need we compare her to this girl?). Columbia argues: