The big controversy in the political pseudo-journalist world this week: the stunning revelations that ABC news anchor George Stephanopoulos made undisclosed contributions to the Clinton Foundation. Allow us to point out that George Stephanopoulos never should have been a news anchor YOU IDIOTS!!!!

Richard Beckman, who spent five years as president of Conde Nast Media Group, has been hired by Vice Media, where he will join a former White House official as an executive at what is still quaintly referred to as an “edgy, brash media brand.”

Have you heard the latest absolutely scandalous DC media gossip? It seems that some less than upstanding publicity hounds attempted to sully the august White House Correspondents Dinner event with corporate whoredom. Can you imagine?

Vice is a company that would like you to think it is cool all of the time. In fact, Vice is only cool when it does stories about Ebola and stuff. It is not so cool when it tries to be the cool face of Bank of America, which would like to rip you off.

The president. Sitting atop a white rock—America, pure as snow, a monument. Lincoln. The ballot box—a throne of our nation. Shall the free press poop atop it? Undulating, in the wind.

As the 2016 presidential election draws closer, America's political press corps is warming up for what they do best: drone on about nothing of consequence.

Monsanto pesticides are safe enough to drink in a glass of water, says an honest-to-goodness scientist who immediately refuses an offer to drink a glass of Monsanto pesticides. Not because Monsanto pesticides aren't safe, no, but because he's "not stupid" and the interviewer is "a complete jerk."

Can we please find a 29-year-old to reveal the 29 Things They've Learned in 29 Years?

A Mother Jones story on the Winn Parish Correctional Center blew up this weekend when a senior producer was arrested for trespass, apparently prompting a second reporter who had been working undercover as a guard to abandon the investigation.

Woozy 80s icon Peggy Noonan is, despite all rational reasoning, a professional political expert, paid real American money to deliver her thoughts on the public affairs issues of the day. Is Peggy Noonan a psychic psychologist super-detective? Maybe...

Christopher Hitchens, the late essayist and sot, was a man who purposefully cultivated a lot of friends of a certain type—rich, self-important, generally dim-witted and hence easy for a well-spoken Oxbridge debater to impress—and he electrified Washington D.C. society mainly by not being a completely charmless bore. Now those friends are the primary caretakers of his legacy, and, if the newly announced "Hitchens Prize" is any indication, they are going to memorialize him in the least Hitch-like ways possible.

Dear Mortimer Zuckerman:

Today Talking Points Memo publisher Josh Marshall tweeted the following blind item:

Jill Abramson, who was unceremoniously ousted last year as editor of the New York Times, has signed a $1 million book deal. Her book's topic will be "the future of media in a rapidly changing world." This development can be interpreted as folly, or farce.

Fabulously wealthy brand ambassador and Vice Media boss Shane Smith spent $300,000 on dinner in Las Vegas last month.

Even in the deep dark depths of the Great Magazine Die-Off a half-decade ago, struggling print magazines did not get so desperate as to breezily stick ads on the cover of their struggling print editions. Hey, times have changed.

There are hundreds and hundreds of people out there who believe that, secretly, they were David Carr's favorite. And maybe we all were. He had the rare emotional capacity to make each of us his favorite, one by one by one.

NBC News has suspended Nightly News anchor Brian Williams for six months without pay, effective immediately. The punishment follows revelations that, over the past decade, Williams misrepresented several details about his experience reporting in Baghdad, Iraq. Most significantly, Williams said a formation of helicopters in which he was flying encountered enemy fire and was eventually forced to land—a story that eyewitnesses have strongly challenged. Under his new contract, Williams would have been paid $10 million per year.

Yesterday, Buzzfeed published a memo telling staffers that they could be fired for leaking internal company information to the press. Allow us to point out the implications of this.

Here is an email illustrating how brands (Sprite, in this case) pay off reporters and bloggers with free stuff as a direct quid pro quo for coverage. There's also some info about a TOP SECRET Drake and Nas concert we would like to share.