Newspapers have figured out that they need web content, and they're desperate for it. So they take reporters and repurpose them as bloggers. Makes sense, right? Not really. As it turns out, blogging isn't the same thing as reporting, and many of these reporters are bad and out-of-touch bloggers. Case in point? As Jossip mentioned earlier, Elizabeth Snead of the L.A. Times. Today, she points out the lovely Liv Tyler's "bit of bulk" during a premier: "Suck that tummy in, girls!" Bloggers and reporters are two separate species, and they must be kept apart! That's not to say that a hybrid can't be bred successfully, but we must remain vigilant against journalistic miscegenation.

On the safe-for-women news site WowoWow today, octogenarian Post gossip queen Liz Smith weighs in with her opinion of bosses: "My boss is an absolute total shit!" Goodness, Liz! "As I have a lot of bosses in this world just as newspaper, magazine-writing, TV-appearing, Internet-contributing souls all have, I will not identify just which particular boss this is," she adds. But of course, we know exactly who she's talking about.

Martin Bashir, the current Nightline broadcaster, just announced that he has a "potentially life-threatening" brain tumor. Bashir, who made his name with big, probing, salacious TV interviews of Princess Diana and Michael Jackson, said that he plans to "get on with his life" and continue working. In that, he is hardly unique; among many cancer victims, the urge to continue with one's career is a powerful one. And that goes double for those in entertainment and the media, where many personalities are so intimately tied to a very public line of work.

We tried to explain that Barack Obama's exchanging of respect knuckles with his lovely wife was NO BIGGIE, but in writing about it, all we really did was add to the deluge of maddening idiocy. The most repellent reading comes, of course, from Fox News, who actually ask if perhaps the fist-bump was "a terrorist fist jab." Then they bring on a body-language expert to analyze what is a modified high-five, people. WE WARNED YOU. So let's watch E.D. Hill and her legs explain what that crazy threatening fist thing was!

Hand-wringing Cornell alums will meet to discuss the Future of Journalism, which ain't looking so bright: "The New York Times, the Washington Post, USA Today, the San Francisco Chronicle, the Seattle Times and countless smaller newspapers across the US have recently laid off reams of staff members and seen massive declines in advertising revenues. What does this mean?! Why are advertisers pulling out? If the newspaper dies, who's going to deliver hard-hitting, sleuthy, unbiased, quality journalism?! We can't get all our news from Jon Stewart, YouTube, or so-called citizen bloggers, can we?" Welcome; we are your new rulers. Please keep in mind that "truthy" is the new "sleuthy" while checking your 401(k)s at the door. [Cornell Entrepreneur Network]

Jon Friedman, the superlative media columnist for MarketWatch, wants to say just one word to you. Just one word. Are you listening? Web. There's a great future in the web. Just think about it. Friedman himself has embraced this "web," it seems, and now he has a little YouTube thing where he will explain the future of the media to you in one minute or less, every week. If you have never heard or seen Friedman, it is an enlightening experience! For example, now we understand why he doesn't "get" Anderson Cooper. But Friedman's is a reassuring message—that there is room for all of us on this "web," regardless of age, appearance, or ability to craft and present a compelling opinion. (Video after the jump!)

"The recordings, made by former Globe managing editor Jim Mitteager, capture him talking with his reporters and sources about stars who allegedly have undergone cosmetic surgery and abortions, as well as been treated for mental illness, bulimia and AIDS." [Daily News]

The Post's Page Six continues to dribble out names of reporters laid off by the Times, and continues to imply, but not say, the layoffs are fresh — which means they likely aren't, but are instead victims of the only newsroom layoffs in Times history, which concluded May 7. Today, Page Six names one person who took the buyout, metro reporter Anthony Ramirez, plus one person forced out — cops reporter Thomas Lueck. "Lueck was on his way to work when they phoned him to say his services were no longer needed," said the Post's tipster. The Post thinks this is "heartless." Right, not at all in the gallant vein of how the Post treated its own cops reporter. [Post]

The Wall Street Journal ran down the list of authors who have created YouTube videos to promote their books, and it turns out there's way more than enough writer videos to call it a trend! Video makers include Meg Cabot of Princess Diaries; Chuck Palahniuk of Fight Club; Naomi Klein of Shock Doctrine; Sherre Hirsch and Jen Lancaster. There are even companies that specialize in making these "book trailers." Is this a sad case of desperate scribblers whoring themselves out to an increasingly apathetic public? Probably! But it can be fun to watch!

CNN.com's business of selling t-shirts is starting to gain some traction and go viral, even after the network closed a security hole that let you write whatever headline you wanted. Obama supporters flocked to buy the "Obama Makes History" headline on a shirt last week, breaking sales records. Another boost came when Anderson Cooper said he wanted Donna Brazile to be his "boo," and people flocked to buy a shirt reading, "Anderson Cooper, ‘you're not my boo.'" It's now the number-three all-time bestseller. But, in true mainstream media fashion, CNN is doing its best to thwart its own online success. The network selectively blocks some of the best headlines, like "Grizzly Victim: 'He's eating my brain!'" There's now a whole website dedicated just to non-shirt-eligible headlines, like these:

Back in March, it was reported that Ghost, Dirty Dancing, and Roadhouse heartthrob Patrick Swayze had just five weeks to live before succumbing to pancreatic cancer. Well, screw that, says Swayze. His doctors have cleared him to return to work and the A&E Network's just ordered up a new season of his FBI drama The Beast. "A&E has ordered 13 hourlong episodes to go into production this summer in Chicago, with a tentative premiere set for early 2009."

And you thought your stylist was talented? A mere dilettante when compared to the 'do-master (or mistress) behind these fabulous works of hair artistry.

One of Bill O'Reilly's slimy little producers tried to ambush PBS veteran newsman Bill Moyers at the National Conference for Media Reform yesterday, demanding to know why he wouldn't come on O'Reilly's silly Fox News shout-fest. Moyers turned the tables, demanding that O'Reilly set him up with an interview with Fox overlord Rupert Murdoch so that Murdoch can explain why we still haven't gotten the $20-per-barrel oil his network promised at the start of the war. And other things. See the exchange below.

Every now and then a movie offers up a few lines of dialogue that sneaks its way past our snarky, cynical waking minds and inserts itself right into our mushy little hearts. It happens rarely, but when it does, our eyes get all stupid and crinkly and our faces contort and the skin on our necks gets all hot. When has that happened to you? My choice after the jump.

Hey so last night was that big important episode of the Sci-Fi Channel's space cotillion Battlestar Galactica. Are you just dying to find out what happened? So am I!

This photo-along with the headline "Peter Rabbit Must Die"-opens today's "Home and Garden" section of The New York Times. It's a piece on killing backyard pests such as adorable woodchucks and icky snakes, but the illustration has NYC's bunny-owning community screaming bloody murder. A tipster writes, "On Yahoo's nycbuns group, which is dedicated to the well-being of bunnies as well as the emotional disorders of their owners, the New York Times photo has provoked a wave of infuriated posts." One enraged bunner pleads, "everyone please inform the NYT that it is totally inappropriate to use a picture of a lop eared house rabbit for a story about killing garden pests. one would think these journalists making $200k a year would know better - yeah damn mad at them and sent a very nasty email." More bunny rage after the jump.

Yay! Battlestar Galactica's Pretty Asian Cyclon (AKA Grace Park) has provided us with a wonderful shiny cheesecake photo shoot! How lovely! But where the hell is Blonde Tomboy Space Girl's layout?! Huh?? More and more photos after the jump.

MSNBC.com's PR department has issued a statement from reporter Courtney Hazlett, who described Spike Lee as "uppity" on TV this morning: "Today on 'Morning Joe' I chose my words poorly in describing the relationship between Clint Eastwood and Spike Lee. I take my responsibilities as a journalist seriously and know that words can have a strong impact. I sincerely apologize to Spike Lee and to the viewers for my comments." Noted.

Are you a company trying to get your products into the hands of the coveted but hard-to-reach "in prison" demographic? Why not advertise in Prisonworld Magazine? They're in over 400 institutions across the nation, and they're looking for advertisers. This could be a great placement for uh, Snickers, Newports... shower sandals? Shiv manufacturers. Just off the top of my head. And surprisingly affordable! Check out the jail rag's pitch and rate card:

Yazmany Arboleda, the masterful young media manipulator and artist of debatable talent, still has the national press talking two days after the Secret Service shut down his "art exhibit" about the Assassination of Barack and Hillary. But that's okay, because now the kid is digging his own grave with grand pronouncements. Hoax, you say? No, this whole stunt is probably just over your head: