The late Tim Russert initially refused to host Meet the Press because, in his words, he was "ugly." Sad! He just looked like a regular fat dude to us, no grosser in appearance than plenty of other fat guys you might see on television any night of the week, as SNL cast members or wacky sitcom neighbors. But Doree Shafrir points out that you don't generally see ladies who look like Tim Russert on television, and certainly not hosting important news programs. "We expect our female pundits and news anchors to be intelligent and beautiful," Doree says, "but men can get away with being overweight and unattractive." We kind of disagree with that.

Proving once again that the US Military makes strategic decisions based on the rantings of the lunatic fringe, our post last week about the Marine Corps' "We teach black people to swim" ad prompted an article about the "controversy" in the Marine Corps Times, and a healthy discussion on the paper's online discussion boards. Sentiment among the ex-military commenters there is currently running 30-0 against the ad having a racial component. "In my life time, I've learned through life experiences, in order for a person(s) to make a comment such as this. That they are racial in one way or another," says one. He's right, you know. (UPDATE: Former gay porn star/ Marine and current conservative blogger Matt Sanchez adds: "Smearing the military is never a big enough issue for the Gawker, it's a reflex. Maybe if they "subtly" stereotyped gay males as promiscuous this issue would have warranted greater indignation.") [MCT. Watch the ad here.]

Whenever you think you've truly gained access to an exclusive club of some sort-particularly in New York-think again, fool. There is always another inner sanctum far too exclusive to admit the likes of you. That was a great piece of wisdom passed down by Graydon Carter long ago, and confirmed in former Gawker-er Josh Stein's new article in Page Six Magazine, which takes a peek "Beyond the Velvet Rope" at the hottest spots in the hottest city where the hottest people go. And you want to know the even bigger secret? The most exclusive places in the city are just as boring as everywhere else you've ever been:

The big tech pubs have been shuffling their A-team players lately. Steven Levy jumped from Newsweek to Wired. Dan Lyons left Forbes to replace Levy at Newsweek. Forbes is now doing some high-end poaching of its own. (Can we vote for Brendan Koerner?) And the New York Times is staffing up for battle with the Wall Street Journal. Here at Valleywag, we heard that perpetual hanger-on, WSJ book reviewer, Wired kibbitzer and Bono impersonator Paul Boutin was being pulled into interviews for some of these big gigs. Paul, we told him, why bother? No matter where you end up, every single article you write will be 100-worded and openly mocked on Valleywag. Why don't you just finally join the team and post the stuff yourself here? Cracked Boutin, "That seems easier." He starts July 1.

Is the entire staff of the Village Voice preparing to jump off a cliff together? The NY Press reports that the once-mighty downtown alt-weekly, which has seen its editorial and business-side staff hacked to pieces since it was bought by New Times two years ago, is on the verge of a walkout over contract issues. Voice stalwart Tom Robbins says if the union there doesn't get what it wants, "all bets are off." The problem here: this paper is in dire economic straits and would surely welcome a good excuse to lay off its entire staff and start over with an all-24-year-old writing staff, at $30,000 apiece. Strikes at shaky print outlets have become totally counterproductive. New Times boss Mike Lacey is probably rubbing his hands in glee at the prospect. But hey, we hope we're wrong! (UPDATE: We're told a strike is set for July 1 if a suitable contract isn't in place). [NY Press]

As we reported last week, the Associated Press sent a copyright complaint to a harmless little left-wing news aggregating site demanding they remove posts that featured "39 to 79 words" of their precious, precious copy. Over the weekend, after outrage from various blogs, they retreated. But they're not giving up! Blogs will bow to them! They will set standards, and blogs will naturally decide to follow these standards on their own accord, because that's how bloggers act!

The fabricated non-scandal of Michelle Obama purportedly calling Caucasian Americans "Whitey" has had at least one benefit: it's opened the door for a discussion of how poor the slurs addressing white people really are. Christ, how is it fair that there are perfectly terrible, accepted slurs for damn near every minority, but not for white people? We're the ones who are actually evil! Writing in The Root, Kim McLarin points out that nobody even says "whitey" any more (if they ever did). But there aren't any good alternatives. Unless you come up with some, for the sake of equality:

BusinessWeek Magazine sure is one big hellhole, judging strictly by the internal backstabbing, sniping, and intra-office gossip wars that go on there. The latest scathing editorial criticism comes in the form of a comment on a blog interview of BW.com editor John Byrne. A helpful reader takes the opportunity to point out that Byrne's predecessor was the widely despised Kathy Rebello, infamous for once hyping stories on her own site with praise from a fake commenter. Also discussed by the angry commenter: a celebrity gossip-refugee news editor with a shelf full of Barbie dolls, and a napkin-folding Rebello underling who fetched his boss water on command (we need one of those!). The provocative comment-along with some context from a BW insider, and our request for more information-after the jump.

In a lengthy and kind of pointless story about ur-media gossip blogger Jim Romenesko, former New York Times editor Howell Raines basically blames the mild-mannered media reporter for the death of newspapers, sort of. Raines thinks Romenesko's nasty habit of reporting lay-offs, buy-outs, and paper closings makes everyone in the media feel so bad that they think print is dying and then it dies. Then "a young New York-based reporter at a major newspaper" says: "'I think Romenesko is what Gawker would look like if it had morals.'" We humbly disagree, young anonymous reporter. Jim (god bless him), with his endless stream of damning links presented with minimal commentary, is the amoral one. We pass moral judgment on all of you! (Also, though it is hard to remember now, there was a time when Jim Romenesko Was Not A Blogger.) [Portfolio]

Page Six Magazine's Kelly Killoren Bensimon, your source for both trendsetting woman-about-town news and the latest dispatches from poverty-ravaged Africa, unspins the saga of her almost-trip to the Third World in her column this past weekend: "Last week I was supposed to go to South Africa with the group CC Africa, which has arranged safaris for Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt in the past. I was very excited to go-I was going to help open a school there-but I missed my flight by 10 minutes!" OMG OMG what happens next? The answer will sadden you, shock you, and make you despair for the future of Africa and New York high society alike:

Now readers of blogs can choose to not read books the cheap way. Elizabeth Wagley, a communications adviser for Doctors of the World, has founded the Progressive Book Club, which hopes to harness the power of the Internets and is already off to a good start by complimenting the vast competitive conspiracy: "The right has always understood the power of ideas, the power of books as legitimizers of ideas," Wagley tells the New York Times. Unfortunately, at about $1 a book, her left-wing pricing is as mercenary as the middle-aged and grumpy Conservative Book Club. Also, Michael Chabon, Erica Jong, and Todd Gitlin choose your monthly selections, so hope you like chess-playing Zionist sex fiends obsessed with the sixties.

The exit of HarperCollins CEO Jane Friedman continues to baffle everyone, including New York magazine, which tried to figure out why Friedman was let go but could only figure out two non-reasons. Some people thought she was maybe ousted because, at the London Book Fair in April, she decided Egyptian novelist Alaa Al Aswany was too anti-Israel and so moved his cocktail party away from the official HarperCollins booth. But "a source close to Friedman" said she just doesn't ever like having book parties in the booth. This source also shot down the idea, floated by at least one former News Corp. insider, that Friedman was fired because in 2006 she pushed out profitable publisher Judith Regan after she was charged with making anti-semitic statements, a charge News Corp. called false when settling a Regan lawsuit. If rumormongering, journalism, guessing and scapegoating didn't revel the truth about Jane Friedman's departure, what on heaven's Earth will? Someone award this woman a tell-all book contract or something before everyone dies of suspense (or, more likely, stops caring). [New York]

The New Yorker profiled MSNBC editorializer Keith Olbermann and the Post, as the designated attack dog of Olbermann enemy News Corp. excerpted only the most damaging bits. But it still left out plenty of juicy scraps of information about the many coworkers the MSNBC Countdown host has insulted and alienated over the years, and about the arguably insulting things even supportive NBC executives said about him. A quick roundup, starting with Olbermann's insults, including the co-host he moved to tears:

Tim Russert's wake is not until Tuesday, but there's already speculation about who will replace the NBC News stalwart as host of Meet The Press. Russert also served as NBC News' DC bureau chief and as a political correspondent on Today, NBC Nightly News and MSNBC, but no one believes a lone replacement will be able to match that hectic schedule. For the Meet The Press gig, the Times came up with the following shortlist, which includes the sure-to-be-controversial option of CBS Evening News host Katie Couric:

The good news for the Wall Street Journal's editors is that the above story was not moved in violation of its embargo — it ran just after midnight, as apparently required by the originating source. As the Silicon Alley Insider notes,that signals the Journal's adherence to a choreographed style of journalism recently-departed managing editor Marcus Brauchli opposed. The bad news: The fact that the story starts with "EMBARGOED!" signals that the Journal's copy editors are stretched quite thin this summer weekend (the LA Times feels your pain, WSJ). [Silicon Alley Insider]

Yesterday's installment brought forth so much thrillingly lovely eye-candy that I'm sticking with the theme today. Only difference is that we'll be delving even further back into our collective crush unconsciousness. Crush-onciousness? Whatev. I'll start it off with my choice for most amazingly glorious 1970s heartbreaker.

One of the many types of slimy little men we have to purge from our fair city is profiled in the New York Times today. "Some people see models all the time. They recognize these creatures despite their oversize sunglasses and disheveled hair. They can look past baggy shifts and mismatched patterns, beyond gaudy makeup and cheap earrings. These people are called model scouts, and their numbers include Roman Young of Elite Model Management, who chose Union Square as his hunting ground one Saturday in May." The vile "hunt" after the jump.

The stress of playing one of the most legendary characters ever in one of the most hotly anticipated sequels ever didn't contribute to Heath Ledger's death in January, says the Dark Knight star. "Christian Bale has called rumours that Heath Ledger's role as The Joker contributed to his death 'ridiculous.' Ledger, who died from an accidental overdose of prescription drugs in January, was urged to seek help by crew on The Dark Knight after he reportedly became too involved in his character."

The folks at Adult Swim have compiled another one of their handy little collections. This time, it's the news, as it exists in the twisted cartoon universe of Family Guy. Of course, they won't let me embed them, so you can watch them here. Meanwhile, perfect excuse to post a Family Guy clip of my own! After the jump.

To promote their upcoming flick Tropic Thunder, Robert Downey Jr., Jack Black, and Ben Stiller produced this hysterical clip for the MTV Movie Awards. So why am I posting it now? Because I didn't know about it last weekend and because it features Jack Black having his crotch assaulted again and again and again! See for yourself after the jump!