Sick of the negativity rampant in the liberal mainstream media, the Cook County (IL) Board paid $25K to produce its own magazine-one that would ensure "regular, positive press." But the initial run of 5,000 copies (which has already been printed) will never be distributed, because the magazine had too many misspellings and grammatical errors. Your government at work, ladies and gentlemen. "I have to find a way to get rid of them," said the county's spokesperson. Build a fort? It probably won't be too much of a loss, considering:

So is it more embarrassing that only blogs and the Enquirer cover John Edwards' LOVE CHILD SCANDAL or that only PBS cares about his anti-poverty campaign? It's certainly an awkward week for this edition of PBS' NOW on the former Senator's work to air, though maybe it'll benefit from increased interest in Edwards' extracurricular activities. [PBS]

Whoa, did you know that the somewhat maddening hip hop radio queen and penis-talking daytime TV host Wendy Williams "stands about 6-foot-4 in heels, not counting her sometimes formidable helmet of hair"? That is one tall, tall gossipeuse. And though she's succeeded in getting some good ratings by doing things like battling the evil Omarosa on live TV, Wendy seems to be having a hard time convincing advertisers and publicists that her penis-friendly show is the place for them:

Seriously, what's going on with these Bonnie Fuller columns in Ad Age? The deposed Star chief must still be desperate for cash. And Ad Age must be desperate for amusement, because the main thing these columns do is expose the fact that Bonnie Fuller-despite being paid astronomical amounts of money by several media moguls-is not all that bright. At least when it comes to writing about and/ or analyzing things. Her last column blew the big A-Rod-and-Madonna conspiracy wide open; and today, she reveals what's really going on with Barack Obama's "celebrity" strategy. The twisted truth must come out! You see, Barack Obama didn't just stumble onto the cover of People magazine by chance. Oh no. It's all part of a big PR strategy! That's how things work in the high-level circles to which Bonnie Fuller is privy:

Last week, conservative columnist Bob Novak ran his car into an 86-year-old homeless man and then drove off, apparently oblivious. Now the 77-year-old journalist has been hospitalized with a brain tumor. Sheesh! Bad week! Anyway no one knows how bad it is yet, though he can still talk and issue statements and so on. And no one knows either whether the tumor caused his bizarre accident, because really it was bound to happen anyway with the way he drives. [Sun-Times]

Revenue from websites run by newspaper group AH Belo, which publishes the Dallas Morning News and two other papers, dropped 11 percent year over year in the second quarter. Isn't there some law which says Internet revenues only go up? [PaidContent]

The British knife crime epidemic has gone virtual! Are your kids safe when they go online-safe from knives? No! Not while Facebook was condoning the existence of a "SuperPoke" application that allowed thuggish social networkers to "Shank" their friends. Thank god the UK tabloids have hollered enough to ensure that none of our children will be virtually shanked again! The Sun is outraged. In London there have been 21 teen knife murders this year! That's the average total from a single LA house party gone wrong, but no matter. The manufacturer of SuperPoke, Slide, has pulled the application, and these digital knife-pokings have been stopped. Should everyone now go to jail?

Newest lifestyle trend: salons that are combined with fitness centers (how has the Observer missed this one?). The salon, JF Gymnastique in Manhattan, is run by a Frederic Fekkai alumnus; the little fitness center-only three people at a time, please- also has "a team of chiropractors, acupuncturists, soft-tissue specialists, massage therapists, and nutritional counselors offer a range of à la carte services to complement clients' workout routines." As well as "a private locker room, replete with Frette towels and bath and body products from Phyto and Roger & Gallet." Upcoming lifestyle trend: the least hardcore gyms ever. [NYS]

Republican Congressional candidate Allen West didn't know what to think. Some gal called saying she worked for an "Al Jazeera??" And she wanted him to talk on some "show" about the situation in Afghanistan, where he served as a military officer? Like he's going to tell his Army secrets to some Madrassa or whatever, in front of their martyr cameras! Then this "booker" wanted his address so she could "pick him up" — at night, the most terrifying time of day! You know what that means: A hood goes on, your hands are bound, and the next thing you know you're in Dearborn Michigan. So West reported her in to the FBI, for violating freedoms.

"What we've got here is a recession in advertising. It started in local media – radio and newspapers – and is now spreading to TV." [FT] (photo by Peter Kaminski on Flickr)

When the Times got a call from Steve Jobs, the hands-on CEO of personal computer maker Apple, it had already been investigating the former pancreatic cancer victim's health for several days. Following a Monday report in the Post that some Jobs associates were "troubled by his thin appearance," the Times on Wednesday revealed Jobs underwent some sort of surgical procedure earlier this year. By Thursday afternoon, Times columnist Joe Nocera was preparing to report that Jobs was losing weight due to "ongoing digestive difficulty" and, possibly, due to a recent infection. That's when Jobs phoned to give a peace of his mind. But with a liberal interpretation of the term "off the record," Nocera would go on to finagle a scoop out of the confrontational call:

"If [CBS head] Les Moonves wants to get rid of her, he's got to shell out around $40 million. He's tried to get her to move on, and she was like, 'Fine. I'll leave - where's my money?'" [Post]

Edgar Mitchell is one of 12 people to have walked on the moon, so when the former NASA astronaut said in an interview with Britain's Kerrang Radio that he had "been briefed ... in certain committees and certain research programs" about aliens visiting the Earth, the story spread quickly to tabloids, conspiracy theory websites and video-sharing sites like YouTube. But now the story has spread into more legitimate media, and NASA is trying to contain it.

With all the attention we pay to the 70s and 80s in these end-o'-the-day posts, we can forget that the recent past has much worth remembering. Like the hottest hotties of the 1990s, for example. And there were a lot of them! Who's your fave? I offer two of them in one dreamy clip after the jump. As always, alluring humans of all genders are welcome.

Celebrated flyboy and action man Steve Fossett, who mysteriously disappeared flying over Nevada last September, really might have faked his own death, according to investigators from the U.S. military and Fossett's insurance carrier. "But now the official search spokeswoman, Lieutenant Colonel Cynthia Ryan of the US Civil Air Patrol, has told the News of the World she believes he may NOT have crashed. She said: 'Anything is possible. There are a lot of raised eyebrows- even more so now. I know very few people here, friends in law enforcement, that buy this story like the rest of the world has.'" The evidence, after the jump.

According to one of the Special Branch officers assigned to protect author Salman Rushdie-whose protectors remember as "Scruffy"-when he went into hiding after the Ayatollah Khomeini slapped him with a death sentence and put a price on his head in 1989, Rushdie was an arrogant tight-wad with "a handshake like a wet fish." That officer, Ron Evans, is dishing on his former ward in today's Mail. "[Seargent] Bob said: 'Let's go in and see the great man.' 'What's he like?' I asked. 'Well, he doesn't like the police, hates Thatcher, he can be arrogant and he's a Socialist. Apart from that, he's all right.'"

Just in from Comic-Con!Buffy/Firefly/Dr. Horrible creator Joss Whedon discusses how he's trying to ensure that his upcoming Fox show Dollhouse enjoys a long, happy life on TV, unlike Firefly-which met an early demise for no good reason. Also in this clip, Battlestar Galactica/Dollhouse co-star Tahmoh Penikett, and a surprise appearance by Adam Baldwin, who Whedon blames for the downfall of Firefly.

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull star Shia LaBeouf was arrested early this morning in Hollywood on suspicion of driving while well 'faced. "The 22-year-old actor was the driver of a vehicle that was involved in a 3 a.m. collision at a street intersection in Hollywood, Los Angeles County Sheriff's Sgt. Scott Wolf said. 'It was immediately apparent to officers responding on the scene that LaBeouf was intoxicated and he was subsequently placed under arrest,' Wolf said."

Christian Bale is now officially the biggest action star in the world, and next year he's starring in the Terminator: Salvation-which takes place in the future! So, here's the teaser trailer. I didn't even know it was online!

So, what the heck's been happening in the Middle East since the dawn of civilization five thousand years ago? Well, I don't have the time-or the knowledge-to explain it all, so watch this handy video illustrating who ruled what, and when, in just 90 war-filled seconds!