Annoying clothing designers have been all over Barack Obama throughout the campaign, but won't someone please create some cool streetwear for McCain supporters? Or at least something that hiptards can wear to be even more ironic? Complex can. Check out the McCain couture after the jump.

Early this morning, Congressional leaders announced they'd come to a tentative agreement on a $700 billion bailout plan to save America. Yay? Thankfully, a kindly reporter at Reuters has gone ahead and laid out the key points of the plan, which still needs to be ratified by the full House and Senate. See the solution that will totally revolutionize Wall Street and protect us from douchebankers forever and ever after the jump. -The $700 billion in buying power would be doled out by Congress in stages. After the first $250 billion is authorized, the President could request another $100 billion. The final $350 billion could be cleared by a further act of Congress. - Washington will take a stake in companies helped through the program so that taxpayers can share in the profits if those companies get back on their feet. - A new congressional panel would have oversight power and the Treasury secretary would report regularly to lawmakers in two elements of a multi-level oversight apparatus. - Compensation limits would be set for the chiefs of participating firms to prevent excessive pay and "golden parachutes" for those who might tap government aid and then quit. - The federal government may stall foreclosure proceedings on home loans purchased under the plan. - Alongside the plan to buy securities outright, the Treasury Department will conceive an alternative insurance program that would underwrite troubled loans and would be paid for by participating companies. - If the government has taken losses five years into the program, the Treasury Department will draft a plan to tax the companies that took part to recoup taxpayer losses.

Actress/singer(?) Scarlett Johansson has, for some reason, married Van Wilder star Ryan Reynolds. Yeah, it happened. Johansson, 23, hitched her sexy-as-all-hell wagon to Alanis Morissette's 31-year-old ex-fiance last night at a remote wilderness resort outside of Vancouver. The pair got engaged in May, when Reynolds-who really stood out in Smokin' Aces-dropped a $30K diamond ring on her dainty finger. [Us] Click through for an important reminder of just exactly who, for now, is off the market.

Tina Fey returned her old home at Saturday Night Live once again last night to portray mind-boggling VP candidate Sarah Palin, opposite Amy Poehler's Katie Couric. In the clip, Palin discusses her whirlwind tour of NYC and the UN, and tells Couric what to do if you stumble upon a Russian on the Alaskan border. Check it out after the jump. Click to view

Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert, the most trusted names in journalism, sat down for a Q&A with Entertainment Weekly—and kicked everyone's asses all the time! For example: STEPHEN COLBERT: One of the things I love about my character is I can make vast declarations and it doesn't matter if I'm wrong. I love being wrong. So my character can tell you exactly what's going to happen: The Democrats are going to change everything. We're going to have gay parents marrying their own gay babies. Obama's gonna be sworn in on a gay baby. The oath is gonna end ''So help me, gay baby.'' More selections after the jump. So what do you think is the issue that people will end up voting on? STEWART: Whatever happens that week. It all depends on when that Michelle Obama ''I hate whitey'' tape comes out. If it comes out now, it could dissipate by the election. But if it comes out a couple days before, that could be dangerous. COLBERT: Jon? I have it. There are a lot of issues in this election. The biggest one right now is the economy. STEWART: We were in this huge credit crisis, out of money. Then the Fed goes, We'll give you a trillion dollars, and all of a sudden Wall Street is like, ''I can't believe we got away with it!'' Can you imagine if someone said, ''I shouldn't have bought that sports car because it means I can't have my house,'' and the bank just said, ''All right, you can have your house. And you know what? Keep the car.'' [He throws up his arms joyfully and shouts] ''Yeaaaaah, I get to keep the car! Wait, do I have to give the money back?'' ''No, it doesn't matter.'' ''Yeah, I'm gonna get another car! I'm gonna do the same thing the same way, except twice as fucked up!'' COLBERT: The idea that Lehman Brothers doesn't get any money and AIG does reminds me very much of ''Iran is a mortal enemy because they have not achieved a nuclear weapon. But North Korea is a country we can work with, because they have a nuclear weapon.'' The idea is, Get big or go home. How big can you fuck up? Can you fuck up so bad that you would ruin the world economy? If it's just 15,000 who are out of jobs, no. You have to actually be a global fuck up to get any help. Can any [politician] break through this mess? STEWART: I worry that those people are there, but we won't recognize them — or we'll destroy them so thoroughly that their voice won't be heard. I just imagine Lincoln out there, and people throwing the gay stuff at him. ''And what about depression running in his family?'' ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY: You guys regularly make a mockery of the 24-hour news networks. Do you see anything good about the format? JON STEWART: It's Muzak now. You ever walk into a clothing store in New York City and they're not playing music? And you go, ''What's going on here? Did a virus hit? This doesn't seem right.'' Twenty-four-hour news now is this weird companion to my life. STEPHEN COLBERT: There's not more news now than there was when we were kids. There's the same amount from when it was just Cronkite. And the easiest way to fill it is to have someone's opinion on it. Then you have an opposite opinion, and then you have a mishmash of fact and opinion, and you leave it the least informed you can possibly be. STEWART: We've got three financial networks on all day. The bottom falls out of the credit market, and they were all running around. On CNBC I saw a guy talking to eight people in [eight different onscreen] boxes, and they were all like, ''I don't know!'' It'd be like if Hurricane Ike hit, and you put on the Weather Channel, and they were yelling, ''I don't know what the fuck is going on! I'm getting wet and it's windy and I don't know why and it's making me sad! Maybe the president could come down and put up some sort of windscreen?'' By being on 24 hours a day, you begin to not be able to tell what's salient anymore. Read the whole interview here.

In the wake of Paul Newman's death, it would be just obscene to focus on anything random for tonight's Youtube video fest. I agree with all of the commenters who said they never thought a celebrity death would make them cry until this amazing man went and proved that we are all human and that we all need to cry sometimes. But there's only a certain amount of Paul Newman movies and clips, and we've been sharing them all day in the posts about his passing. However, a huge part of his legacy is that he was a member of the generation of actors and actresses that changed movies forever. Method actors, Actors' Studio people—people who put real human emotion and experience into their roles, rather than the staged, scene-eating acting that marks most of what went before it. Newman's generation—in terms of his training—includes, but is not limited to, Brando, Dennis Hopper, Pacino, Deniro, Ellen Barkin, Steve McQueen, Gene Wilder, Marylin Monroe, Nicholson, Harvey Keitel, James Dean, Sidney Poitiere, Chris Walken, Rip Torn, Dustin Hoffman, George Peppard, Anne Bancroft, and Halloween star P.J. Soles. More Actors' Studio grads here. Let me get us started.

So are the Democrats going to have Florida stolen from them again? Not if everyone's favorite Jewey homegirl Sarah Silverman has anything to say about it (Okay, actually, a lot of people can't stand her anymore, but I still like her a lot). Sarah is stumping for Obama by urging folks to use emotional coercion against their aged relatives in Florida in order to get them to vote for the Illinois Senator. Silverman points out that rather than fearing black males, elderly Jews should realize that they have much in common with them. And if they still won't vote for Barack, well, she guesses they won't get any visits from the grandkids anytime soon. And, yeah, I know it's a couple days old, but it deserves a post. Clip after the jump.

The winners of the 2008 International Science and Engineering Visualization Challenge have been announced, and you can check them all out at NewScientist.com, like the one on the left which won the Photography competition and depicts "a community of microscopic diatoms - unicellular algae with a peculiar glass-like cell wall—attached to a marine invertebrate. Some more stunning selections after the jump.

Lord Christopher Monckton (pictured left—that's really him!) says his wacky denials of global warming were unfairly skewed in a recent BBC documentary on the environment. Lord Monckton—a former adviser to Margaret Thatcher and not an invention of Evelyn Waugh's—claims, "They made it sound as if these were just my personal views, as if I was some potty peer. It was caddish of them." Oh dude, you have got to be in the news every weekend forever!

Just this morning, Secretary of State Condoleeza Rice was talking to the Associated Press in New York about the frustrating ongoing negotiations with Iraq regarding the governance of U.S. soldiers deployed there. How to top that off? From a reader: "Condi Rice is getting her nails done RIGHT NOW at Lovely Tender nails on w 72nd street between columbus and amsterdam." Do not approach! Secret Service will frag your ass! Update! Commenter Clarence Rosario sends photographic evidence (after the jump), and notes, "We boo'd her pretty soundly."

Although celebrities usually keep their thoughts and feelings private in the immediate wake of a loved one's passing, Paul Newman's friends recognize that his death is a loss to the whole world. So they're sharing their sadness and their memories as we all mourn Newman's death and celebrate his life and work. "There is a point where feelings go beyond words," says Robert Redford, who co-starred beside Newman in The Sting and Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid. "I have lost a real friend. My life—and this country—is better for his being in it." "Paul Newman played many unforgettable roles. But the ones for which he was proudest never had top billing on the marquee. Devoted husband. Loving father. Adoring grandfather. Dedicated philanthropist... Always and to the end, Dad was incredibly grateful for his good fortune. In his own words: 'It's been a privilege to be here.' He will be profoundly missed by those whose lives he touched, but he leaves us with extraordinary inspiration to draw upon. During this difficult time, we ask for privacy for our family." — Statement from Newman's and Joanne Woodward's three daughters Elinor, Melissa and Claire. "I was blessed to have known him. The world is better because of him. Sometimes God makes perfect people and Paul Newman was one of them." - Sally Field, Newman's costar in Absence of Malice. "Paul was a very fine actor and a really good race driver. But mostly, he personified humanity—always taking care of those who were less fortunate. For me, this will be his legacy." - David Letterman "He set the bar too high for the rest of us. Not just actors, but all of us." - George Clooney "He was my hero." - Julia Roberts "Paul Newman was the ultimate cool guy who men wanted to be like and women adored. He was an American icon, a brilliant actor, a Renaissance man and a generous but modest philanthropist. He entertained millions in some of Hollywood's most memorable roles ever, and he brightened the lives of many more, especially seriously ill children, through his charitable works. Paul was one of a kind. The beloved film star will be missed by a world of fans and admirers. Maria and I send our thoughts and prayers to his wife, Joanne Woodward, his entire family and his many friends." - Arnold Schwarzenegger "He was a master of his craft—an artist respected and emulated by his peers and beloved by movie fans around the world." - Dan Glickman, chairman of the Motion Picture Association of America "Paul was an American icon, philanthropist and champion for children. We will miss our dear friend, whose continued support always meant the world to us. Our prayers and thoughts are with Joanne and the Newman family and the many people who Paul impacted through his endless kindness and generosity." - Bill and Hilary Clinton "All who knew him, worked with him and who have been touched by his kindness and generosity are extremely fortunate. It was Paul's dream that the camps continue to thrive and provide laughter to children who need it most, and we will keep that dream alive." - Statement from the Association of Hole in the Wall Camps, which Newman founded in 1988 for children with serious medical needs. [ETonline and Eonline]

Free falling songstress and exotic substance enthusiast Amy Winehouse (pictured left in happier times) is being investigated by the police for allegedly slugging a fan in the face when she troubled the performer for a photograph. A source says Winehouse tossed the jagged cluster of bones that forms her fist into fan Sherene Flash's eye after she asked Winehouse to pose for a snapshot with her following this week's End of Summer Ball. Which is especially sad, since Winehouse started the summer by getting caught on video decking a fan and falling down.

The group Veterans for Obama has just released a batch of ads featuring "The Next Generation" of combat vets from the wars in Irag and Afghanistan to counter John McCain's never ending claims that he's the only candidate who supports or our troops—and that he's the only one our troops support. In the spots, the vets themselves offer McCain a healthy dose of much-needed reality. Check out a few after the jump.

John McCain, the angriest Presidential candidate ever, has such a total lack of impulse control that he uttered "Horseshit" live onstage at last night's debate. For real! Barack Obama was discussing McCain's seething hatred of the Spanish prime minister when McCain's seething hatred took over his body and caused him to curse Obama out. Or the whole thing could've been an elaborate ploy to showcase his bitter-millionaire-anger to blue collar types bitter over losing jobs and homes, in the hope that they wouldn't see the difference. In any case, witness the offensive language for yourself at about 4:30 in the following clip. Update: The original poster now thinks McCain is saying "Course not." Who am I to decide such things? Listen for yourself. Click to view [via Andrew Sullivan]

Legendary actor and philanthropist Paul Newman died of cancer at his home in Westport, Connecticut, yesterday. He was 83. The Method-trained actor studied his craft at Yale and the Actors' Studio before becoming one of Hollywood's most successful—and challenging—leading men in such edgy films as The Long Hot Summer, Cat on a Hot Tin Roof, Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, and Cool Hand Luke. Despite his iconic status, Newman didn't win an Oscar until his eighth nomination, for 1986's The Color of Money, in which he revived his role as The Hustler's Fast Eddie Felson after a 25-year hiatus. Professional accomplishments aside, Newman was also one half of one of Hollywood's greatest love stories. He married his Long Hot Summer co-star Joanne Woodward in 1958, and they stayed married for the rest of his life. Asked about adultery, he once remarked, "Why would I go out for hamburger when I have steak at home?" As a humanitarian, he stumped for Eugene McCarthy in 1968 and called it "the single highest honor I've ever received" when he landed on Nixon's Enemies List. In 1982, he founded the Newman's Own brand with writer and Hemingway biographer A.E. Hotchner, selling everything from salad dressing to a really fine limeaid, with all profits going to charity. To date, the company has given away more than $200 million. [CNN]

Dirty Jobs host, Deadliest Catch narrator, and former opera singer Mike Rowe has yet another accomplishment to add to his already impressive resume. Readers at Gay.com have voted him the number one dude they'd like to cheat on their boyfriends and husbands with. Poor old silver fox Anderson Cooper's stock is on the decline, as he came in third place out of 25 nominees behind Fast and Furious robot Paul Walker. And in a heartening sign that he's only popular during the Olympics, manfish Michael Phelps carried a mere two percent of the vote. As for Rowe, he sent this humble acceptance message: "What can I say? I'm honored. I would, however, like to take a moment to clear something up. Even though I got my start in theater, sang for years in The Baltimore Opera, moved to San Francisco and never married, I must tell you all again, for the hundredth time ... "I am NOT a celebrity. "Not that there's anything wrong with that... " See the rest of the results here.

♦ David Letterman ripped into John McCain once again last night, which he'll probably continue to do as long as he gets this much attention for it. [NYT]
♦ Sarah Ivens is out as the editor-in-chief of the moneylosing tabloid OK! And, no, Bonnie Fuller is not taking over. [NYP]
♦ CNBC's David Faber is writing a book about the Wall Street meltdown, too. [NYO]
♦ ABC won the Thursday night ratings war thanks to the two-hour season premiere of Grey's Anatomy. [TV Decoder]
♦ Brigitte Quinn and Page Hopkins are leaving Fox News. [TV Newser]
♦ The Magazine Publishers of America will announce the winner of the cover of the year on Monday; here are the three finalists. [Jossip]

Two weeks ago began a tempestuous weekend that saw Lehman Brothers, Merrill Lynch and AIG begin to collapse as going concerns. It's been a relentless 14 days since. Lehman failed; Merrill sold itself for a song and AIG had to get bailed out by the government. We've seen the last two independent investment banks give up that status so they can accept federal cash; the Treasury Department propose a $700 billion banking bailout and bitterly divide the government; and John McCain controversially suspend his presidential campaign. The morning papers today bring word of the largest bank failure in American history at Washington Mutual, splashed in full panic font across the front of the louder-than-ever Wall Street Journal (pictured). Tonight we'll finally find out if the first presidential debate occurs, and either way it won't be pleasant. Don't let your guard down for the weekend: Those who did so seven days ago missed "the end of Wall Street." (Good luck relaxing.)

Somewhere in America, the next Karl Rove is paying his dues, and odds are good he's doing so in part by crafting a narrowly-targeted attack website. The first one of these I saw accused police of conspiring to falsely convict the son of an Oakland politician of sexual assault. Russell Harding's is much more impressive. Convicted of embezzlement and child-porn possession, Harding has established a site called Rudy Veritas, where he tells unflattering stories involving his old boss Rudy Giuliani and Giuliani's associates. A convicted felon who just last year asked Giuliani for money is not the most credible source, as the Times points out this morning. But that didn't stop the newspaper from relaying some of Harding's allegations involving Giuliani's mistress Judith Nathan, and it won't stop others from checking out his description of marathon gambling and alleged illegal perks granted to John McCain.

As if celebrity babies didn't face enough perils — paparazzi, feuding celebrity parents, ill-advised playdates with Michael Jackson — they now have to keep a weary little eye on the stock market. Because amid Wall Street meltdown and the worst advertising decline in seven years rumors are now swirling that the undisputed highroller in the market for pictures of famous infants, OK! magazine, is cutting off payments for exclusive shots of the little tykes. (Sure, the fees usually went to charity, but you can't put a price tag on adulation.) New general manager Kent Brownridge has allegedly said "no more picture buying, and to keep readers interested we will have to 'get creative,'" a disgruntled staffer told Page Six. Underlings are no doubt praying Brownridge doesn't confirm another rumor and squander the savings hiring boss-from-hell Bonnie Fuller to replace a departing Sarah Ivens. Reports the Post: