Oh nuts. Technology is ruining NYC. You see, according to the Sunday Times, no one will get lost in the city and discover awesome new "foreign" neighborhoods by accident anymore because kids have GPS on their cellphones and cabs have interactive touch-screens and the magic is gone, and that is really, really meaningful... For instance, never again will you get some of this crazy only-in-New-York-ness: "You go for a few blocks, unsure, your senses on the alert. In this fog of momentary disorientation, you are nonetheless aware of various clues: a whiff of halal spices, both foreign and familiar; a heated conversation in Polish in your left ear; a taxi driver cursing in Caribbean Spanish in your right." Wait. We'll all speak one language? It's Babylon! God will smite us!

Pretty little gaffe machine Sarah Palin says so many ridiculous things that it's getting hard to keep track. Gosh, darn, isn't there a way we can get all of her jaw-dropping utterances and untruths in one place? There is now. The folks at 23/6 bring us "The Best of Sarah Palin." Check it out after the jump. Pew-pew-pew!

Last week, Sarah Silverman made a funny video encouraging Jews to vote for Barack Obama. This has old timey comedian Jackie Mason striking back with a video of his own, which he made for the Republican Jewish Coalition. In it, he bashes Obama as having "done nothing" and Silverman as a "yenta" while urging Americans to vote for McCain. But, gee, in January Mason posted a video in which he calls McCain "filthy, disgusting." Which is it, old man? Both sides of Jackie's mouth after the jump. Vote McCain:

An anonymous 27-year-old who's just lost his job as an investment banker is auctioning off his "gay virginity" to the highest bidder. He says he's straight and that he looks like The O.C.'s Adam Brody (pictured). What with the economy a mess and him owing $32K in credit card debt, he promises the highest bidder 30 minutes of hot man-on-man sexytimes. Unless you like anal, because he won't give that up.

Writer/actor/director/producer Tyler Perry knows what's best for his writers. And what's best for them, apparently, is to churn out sitcom scripts without union protection or representation. The Writers' Guild of America West has filed a complaint against Perry's production company for unfair labor practices, claiming four writers on his TBS sitcom, Tyler Perry's House of Payne, were shitcanned for trying to join the union.

Say what you will about Sarah Palin-that she's a dingbat, an ideologue, and a bit of a creep-but she's not dumb enough to pay her taxes. The McCain campaign released the last two years of her tax returns yesterday in an old school Friday news dump-and she totally cheats! "Palin, it appears, did not pay taxes on the more than $60,000 of travel reimbursements that she and her family members reportedly billed the state during her 18 months as governor." McCain's goons will surely argue that there's nothing wrong with that. Because they are liars. "There is a fairly wonky debate over whether she should have been charged for these trips or whether it was accounted for in her salary. John Bogdanski, a tax professor at the Lewis and Clark Law School, told the Huffington Post's Seth Colter Walls that they did qualify as taxable income." And $60 grand isn't a big deal if you're a total millionaire like John McCain and own eight houses, but Palin is merely wealthy. So she rips off the Treasury Joe Six-Pack style. "According to an accompanying 2007 personal financial disclosure report, Palin's 'income' as governor of Alaska was $196,531.50, well above the $107,987.00 that was noted on her W2 form from that same year." [HuffPo]

Comedy goddess Tina Fey isn't the only funnylady who can pull off a mean Sarah Palin imitation. Harry Shearer-of The Simpsons, This is Spinal Tap, SNL's male synchronized swimming movie, and just about every other funny thing in the last 30 years-has just written and posted this fun song, "Bridge to Nowhere." It stars his wife, actress Judith Owen, whose Palin is spot-on and will make you eat the nearest hunk of rusted iron when you reflect that they are singing about a real candidate for a real fucking office. And try not to remember that John McCain will probably die in office when you watch this, coz that lessens the funny. Update: God you guys are hard to please! Now there's video of drunk-ass monkeys after the jump!! Click to view

More layoffs at the Village Voice have been confirmed: staff writers Maria Luisa Tucker and Sean Gardiner (who was a fine police beat reporter and good guy). Budgetary reasons were reportedly the cause. Further, "The paper’s copy chief also resigned in protest after the deputy copy chief was laid off Wednesday." This after the layoffs late last week of sex columnist Tristan Taormino and photo editor Staci Schwartz. Dayum, what a crappy Friday this is. [via Pop and Politics]

A young literary agency lass is having trouble making, like, a flowchart of all the publishers! She's taken to the Craigslist personals section for the cure: "I think there's a handful of major conglomerates who own all the main publishers... Does a chart like this exist? I'm a cute girl, and if you help me out I'll send you some free galleys :)" Hey, Ms. Cutie? We just busted you. Consider it your first lesson in tough love, and please take to heart the advice Toby Young just gave me: "Don't get too comfortable. You could be fired in the next 48 hours." In this climate, we're all lucky just to have a job. So do yours.

Paul Little, a.k.a Max Hardcore, head of the porn company Max World Entertainment and himself a porn star, has been sentenced 46 months in prison by a judge in Tampa. His crime: being too hardcore. The Justice Department got him on obscenity charges, saying that he distributed films in which he "is shown engaging in violent and extreme sexual acts with female performers." During his trial the jury could barely bring themselves to watch the material. So what was in there that was so bad?

So 40 million people watched Joe Biden be his usual affable self and Sarah Palin look terrified and panicky as she struggled to finish every 90 second answer. Wow! That's more than any debate since 1992, when Ross Perot was more entertaining than anything else on television! Also this is a hilarious paragraph:

♦ Last night's face-off between Sarah Palin and Joe Biden generated the highest ratings for a debate in 16 years. [THR]
♦ SNL has booked Queen Latifah to play debate moderator Gwen Ifill tomorrow night. [People]
♦ What does Palin have to say about Katie Couric? Nothing good. [HuffPo]
♦ CNN incorrectly reported that Apple CEO Steve Jobs suffered a heart attack. [Reuters, SAI]
♦ Fox Business hit a ratings high on Monday—a scant 81,000 viewers. [NYT]
♦ Google may hire an ad agency for the first time. It's had discussions with Wieden + Kennedy and Ari Merkin's Taxi New York. [WSJ]
♦ Jesse L. Martin is in discussions to star in a new NBC drama called The Philanthropist. [THR]
♦ The Economist is stamping its brand on pizza boxes. [NYT]

The Post gives newly retired hack Steve Dunleavy a fawning editorial, a news story, a video, and a photo gallery of his going-away party today—as you can see, Dunleavy and Rupert Murdoch still appear to be in better shape than Post editor Col Allan. The paper also gives Dunleavy space for one last column, in which he predictably praises Murdoch, but also pisses on Columbia J-school in the most convoluted way possible:

Mike Nizza (pictured?), the biggest Wu-Tang fan in the history of the New York Times, is leaving the paper in order to bring da ruckus to The Atlantic's web projects. His boss, NYT digital editor Jim Roberts, closes the staff memo on Nizza's departure by quoting a Gawker comment. With his exit, the Times loses a rebel, who makes more noise than heavy metal. Nizza will be remembered for that old loco style from his vocals—Bill Keller couldn't peep it with a pair of bifocals. We saw this moment coming, though. Mike was a vandal. Too hot to handle. Now, he's saying Goodbye like Tevin Campbell. Full memo below:

Fox Business Network ran ads in the Times and Wall Street Journal this week mocking rival CNBC for showing informercials during a heated weekend in the middle of the Wall Street meltdown. Fox concluded: "We own this story." Not quite. Financial panic did grow the year-old cable network's tiny audience to the point where it could be rated by Nielsen for the first time. But the results won't add any swagger to the step of Fox News chief Roger Ailes: Fox Business peaked at about 81,000 average viewers. During the same period, when Congress voted on the banking bailout Monday, CNBC averaged nearly 900,000 viewers, the Times reported this morning. It appears Fox will need to sweat it through many more weekend shifts to catch up — and pray for a bit more panic, for good measure.

As if 60 Minutes correspondent Lara Logan hadn't kicked up enough dirt in Iraq — she supposedly broke up a marriage and caused a lovers' brawl — she's now under investigation by the feds for looting. A reporter for Broadcasting & Cable somehow got into Logan's CBS office with a camera, and lo and behold, found some serious war spoils, including a two portraits of Saddam Hussein that Logan picked up from wrecked buildings. The authorities have already gone after other TV journalists for taking home souvenirs, which is, as ERS News noted, illegal under Iraqi law, so it was a bit dumb of Logan to let anyone into her office with camera. But then nothing screams "I am a hardened war reporter" like an ornament from inside enemy territory. And by Logan's standards this is a fairly low-grade scandal. Heck, by the standards of Iraqi looting it's a low-grade scandal. But it involves a pretty TV lady, so maybe try and get outraged by the clip after the jump.

We're told Bauer Publishing chief Hubert Boehle has grown tired of the never-ending stream of outside editors atop his celebrity fashion title Life & Style. He finds them hapless. The solution: Boehle will bring in Dan Wakeford, executive editor of another Bauer celebrity mag, In Touch, as top editor. "He wasn't given any choice in the matter," our tipster said. With both the fashion industry and celebrity magazines socked by the economy, he's got his work cut out for him.

Want to stay crucial moments ahead of your neighbors watching the vice presidential debate on a network feed? Try the Times' website . Not only is the old-media stalwart streaming live video of tonight's Biden-Palin faceoff with a surprisingly smooth interface, but it's a good eight seconds ahead of the likes of CNN and MSNBC.

Mean old sexy hack and legendary Post guy Steve Dunleavy had his retirement party last night. Or as it was apparently called, his "wake." But uh, long life and good health, Steve! The Observer showed up (and was banished to the outside) to chronicle Rupert Murdoch's send-off to his favorite attack dog: