Reporters from roughly 30 television networks, newspapers, magazines, and web sites celebrated the Fourth of July with Barack Obama at the White House last weekend. Why didn't you know that? Because they were sworn to secrecy.

A couple of months ago, Harvey Weinstein was showing off his slimmer physique, a look he achieved thanks to weight loss guru Dr. Louis Aronne, the author of the diet book, The Skinny. But judging by the pics that Dealbook posted this afternoon from the media mogulfest in Sun Valley, Harvey hasn't been making much time for the good doctor recently. Stress will do that to you, of course, especially when the economy is in the toilet and your peers keep alluding to "depleted cash reserves" and the like. Do note, though, that Disney chief Bob Iger looks as svelte as ever. Getting up at 4:30am every morning to work out isn't much fun, no. But it does keep you in size 30 Dockers. [NYT/Dealbook]

British authorities are launching an investigation into allegations that Rupert Murdoch's UK newspapers paid more than $1.5 million in hush money to try to cover up the fact that they were illegally hacking into cell phones in pursuit of stories.

Photo District News has found evidence of digital manipulation in three more of the 'Ruins of the Second Gilded Age' photos published by the New York Times Magazine last weekend. It's starting to look like a *real* scandal.

Hipster farmers are pussies. Yuppie foodies are embarrassing half-men. But butchers—so fucking hot, OMG. All the blood. All the meat. All the editing in the world can't conceal NYT reporter Kim Severson's butcher lust:

In your woebegone Wednesday media column: the WSJ takes on the NYT's culture section in a total death match, TV networks not upset they lost $23 in ad money covering MJ, more Hobo New York Times coverage, and newspapers burn.

Hobo broadsheet the New York Times, last seen telling its reporters that text messages are too expensive, has found another way to save precious nickels: getting freelancers to pay their own reporting expenses. With virtual panhandling!

Famed literary journal and titty mag Playboy acquired the exclusive serial rights to the unfinished final novella of author Vladimir Nabokov. They won the rights with flowers! And also lots of money. And also The New Yorker turned it down.

We knew that newsstands have been treating GQ's July cover, featuring a nude-but-not-all-hanging-out Sacha Baron Cohen is like porn. But a tipster at a Hudson News in Manhattan has noticed the decision has lead to some interesting juxtapositions.

Last weekend the New York Times Magazine published a beautiful set of photos of abandoned buildings and such, as a chronicle of the end of the gilded age. Now they've pulled them for probably being Photoshopped. Fakery!

Barack Obama threw an exclusive "backyard bash" on the Fourth of July, with hot dogs, Stoudt's American Pale Ale, and entertainment by the Foo Fighters. Politico's Mike Allen rated an invite, but he doesn't really want you to know that.

Maximilia "Ava" Cordero, alleged underage lover of billionaire perv Jeffrey Epstein, sued the New York Post two years ago after it ran a story saying she was born a man, and was slutty. The decision is in! Sexlaw frontiers, here.

With all of this tabloid love for Michael Jackson today, which brave soul shall stand up and proudly fly the "Sicko!" banner of dissent? Hark! Andrea Peyser still exists.

Ha! Our poor video team slaved away all day pulling clips from the Michael Jackson memorial service and put a funny exclamation point on it all with a couple of compilation videos featuring television commentators' desperate search for words.

In your failure-prone Tuesday media column: The Printed Blog does not revolutionize the media, the Washington Post investigates endlessly, the newspaper industry declines more than 100%, and—what's this?—the City of New York wants to give money to you!

• The Sci Fi Channel is now called Syfy. It's pronounced the same way, except it's less science fiction-y, which is why it was changed to begin with. [THR]
• Justin Timberlake has tapped lit agent David Vigliano to sell publishers on the notion that Timberlake is just the person to write a book about golf. [NYO]
• After a heated, two-year battle, big record labels and online radio stations have finally agreed on new royalty rates for streaming music online. [NYT]
• Who says embattled media companies are doing their best to spend money more wisely? The soundstage for Jay Leno's new primetime show will be "specially fitted to accommodate his passion: expensive cars." [THR]
• "Online predators" have hit Twitter. Paging Dateline's Chris Hansen! [LAT]
• A new study finds that kids are spending more time online. Surprise! [AP]
• Equally shocking: Breaking the Jackson story has boosted TMZ's traffic. [AP]

Not content with ruining the Fourth of July weekends of dozens of cable-news personalities and producers, Sarah Palin followed up by dragging poor Andrea Mitchell and a bunch of other saps to some godforsaken fishing hole in Alaska last night.

Remember back in February when Mayor Bloomberg announced a program to "retrain" laid-off Wall Streeters for careers in other professions? No word yet on how former Bear Stearns brokers and Lehman mortgage traders have adjusted to their new careers as "repossession collection specialists"—a booming profession, we should point out—but the early signs must be encouraging, since Bloomberg now says he plans to do the same thing with unemployed media professionals, too:

China's having some wee riots by a few troublesome dead-ender Uighurs. Hundreds are dead. The media always wants to "cover" things like this. China has a new media management strategy, though: savvy PR! The Uighurs have a counter-strategy: breaking shit.

Michael Jackson's memorial service happens in LA today. Is it a media circus out there? Check out the elephants! Eh? Seriously, it sounds like the media equivalent of the Superdome after Katrina. A brief rundown of the clusterfuckery: