In your cheery Wednesday media column: our nemesis Martha Stewart's magazine implicated in decoration-for-prestige scheme, iTunes for magazines is coming, your weekly layoff roundup, and the Search Engine Media Wars heat up.

NY1 news anchors: Cursed? Portly (former) political anchor Dominic Carter ruined his own career by beating his wife and trying to squirm out of it by name-dropping. Now, another anchor's dad is critically injured in a crack pipe fire.

The news that the President is to announce that his weeks of agonizing are over, and that there will be a troop increase, dominates the front pages. But there's still room for heartwarming Thanksgiving stories.

At the end of December, the Washington Post will close its bureaus in Los Angeles, Chicago, and New York. This is the biggest write-off of on-the-scene domestic news coverage by any major paper yet.

The media world is in a (relative) uproar over what the implications of News Corp. pulling its content off Google would be. But! A three-part Gawker investigation-type thing indicates the impact might be quite minimal for you, the consumer. Observe:

• France's first lady, Carla Bruni, will star in Woody Allen's next movie. [AFP]
• Time Inc. is shutting down InStyle Weddings and laying off nine people in the process. The company also let 15 staffers go at Fortune today. [Gawker, NYP]
• Adam Lambert's racy performance at the AMAs has stirred up some drama, in case you haven't heard; ABC says it's been flooded with complaints. [NYT]
• In related news, Lambert will not be appearing on GMA due to the fallout, but he will be on the Early Show and the Late Show with David Letterman. [HL]
• The Washington Post is closing its NYC, LA, Chicago bureaus. [WaPo]
• Time Inc., Condé Nast and Hearst are setting up a company to "allow them to take the digital future into their own hands." Better late than never! [NYO]
• Sarah Palin's Going Rogue sold 700,000 copies in its first week, sadly. [AP]

We've just confirmed that Time Inc. is folding Instyle Weddings, a quarterly publication. The wedding magazine category is rough these days.

In your trepidatious Tuesday media column: we hear the Time Inc. layoffs hit Fortune (and others?) today, BusinessWeek speaks robot language, Dave Eggers will not stop saving print, and a horrible massacre of journalists in the Philippines.

Playboy, which is really just hobbling along waiting to be sold at this point, is outsourcing its non-editorial production duties to AMI, which now has the weirdest stable of publications in the business.

News Corp, ever the online contrarian, is considering pulling all of its news content off of Google and doing an exclusive deal with Microsoft's Bing. For this, Rupert Murdoch would receive a pittance. Welcome to the future of paid media.

On today's front pages: unsealed documents show that a recent investigation is one of the largest since September 11, and that the insurgent group may be affiliated with Al Qaeda.

In your merciful Monday media column: Carl Kasell gets to sleep in now, more rumored AP layoffs, crazy "old media" types eschew pointless media beef, and Verlyn Klinkenborg defended like a doe, a deer, a female deer, shut up, Verlyn.

• New Moon smashed expectations this weekend, racking up $140 million at the box office and setting a record for the third-biggest opening ever. [NYT]
• News Corp. and Microsoft are in talks to remove News Corp. content from Google and have it appear on Bing, Microsoft's search engine. [FT, Bloomberg]
• O is slumping, so Hearst is now planning to makeover the magazine. [NYP]
• Talks between GE and Vivendi over NBC seem to have hit a roadblock. [WSJ]
• Project Runway's finale generated solid ratings for Lifetime, but it still didn't reel in the number of viewers it did when it aired on Bravo. [WWD]
• Scary: Glenn Beck is now looking to be more of a "political organizer." [NYT]
• Also scary: Lou Dobbs wasn't kidding about running for president. [NYDN]
• Katie Couric: serious anchor by day, sexy dancer by night. [Gawker]

Whether you think tabloid sex columnist Andrea Peyser is sexxxy or supersexxxy, you must marvel at her hat trick in today's column: Perpetrating the most pedestrian racist stereotypes against black people and Jews, and coming out as a lesbian.

Sexxxy wealthy foot model Christina Ambers marrying a doorman at her fancy building: A heartwarming story of love overcoming class barriers. Finding out Ambers previously dated another doorman: What a low-class slut. Tabloid law: Unbreakable. [NYDN]

Cursed NY1 political anchor Dominic Carter was found guilty of assaulting his wife on Friday, after a judge called his wife's last-minute "an unidentified man did it" reversal "preposterous." Carter spent the weekend being screwed by fate, and the media.

The world is falling apart! Water is full of feces, debt is collossal, sex offenders are running rife, six-packs abs are a sham and no-one updates Wikipedia any more. A look at today's front pages gives us two solutions though.

The Philadelphia Inquirer still runs op-eds by John Yoo, legal mastermind behind torture, illegal detention.

Newspapers are dying, which means there will never be any more investigative journalism and politicians will screw whomever they want. But it's OK, because "innovative" new "partnerships" like the Chicago News Cooperative are here to produce real journalism.

• Oprah got all teary today when she announced she'll end her talk show two years from now. Meanwhile her upstart cable network announced it'll launch in January 2011, eight months before her talk show goes off the air. [EW, THR]
• Oprah isn't the only one planning her goodbyes. Bill Moyers announced today that he's retiring and will wrap up his weekly PBS show in April 2010. [NYT]
• Former NY1 anchor Dominic Carter was found guilty of misdemeanor attempted assault today for roughing up his wife last year. [NYDN]
• Last night's season finale of Project Runway was the highest-rated episode of the season; meanwhile, winner Irina Shabayeva describes what's next for her.
• The new Twilight sequel, New Moon, isn't just causing excitable teens to pass out in droves. It's also on track to break a few box office records. [AFP, AP]
• More on the bloodshed at BusinessWeek the past few days. [FBNY]
• Tina Brown has herself a new right-hand man at The Daily Beast. [NYP]
• Yet another book by reality TV star Lauren Conrad is on the way. [NYDN]
• Phil Falcone's Harbinger has cut his stake in the Times once again. [Reuters]
• The scariest news ever: Lou Dobbs has left open the possibility that he'll make a run for the White House in 2012. And he wasn't kidding. [Reuters]