The dystopian Olympic games in Sochi finally came to a close today, the last event being an obvious Canadian triumph in hockey. But now that it's all over, we can do the thing that we all came here to do: count up those medals and measure our dicks.

For the first time since 1944, the Pentagon has created a new combat-related medal to award drone pilots. Outgoing Defense Secretary Leon Panetta announced today that the Distinguished Warfare Medal will be given to those who have a direct impact on combat relations, but don't risk their lives to do so.

Dinner parties and obituaries could become a lot less interesting if the Supreme Court votes to uphold a law which makes it a federal offense to lie about having received military honors.

Mark Kirk, the Republican running for President Obama's old Senate seat, said on several occasions that he received the Navy's exclusive Intelligence Officer of the Year award. He hasn't. And the Washington Post found out about it.