Are you tired of rising property costs in Williamsburg? Are you tired of the scourge of espresso bars, cheese shops, yoga centers and day spas? Do you yearn for the old days when a prostitute or drug dealer set up shop on every corner? Remember infamous Williamsburg coke bar Cokie's?!?!?! We've got just the thing to dissuade recent undergraduates from moving there AND to sate your taste for nostalgia. Buy them the Brooklyn Paper! Because seriously, their latest police blotter is out of control.