The artist formerly known as McLovin stopped by Kimmel to entertain the world with tales from his adolescent life. While filming Kick Ass in England, Plasse faced moral dilemmas involving everything from cougars to the ethics of signing boobs.

· Corey Haim spent an entire segment of The Two Coreys surfing the Defamer comment section and walked away emotionally damaged. But darker days are looming ahead.
· Angelina Jolie gave birth to the Chosen Twins! No wait, it was just another false alarm.
· McLovin and some starlets, sittin' in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G. First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes some little McLovins in a baby carriage! But wait, watch out for that lightning storm!
· Madonna's frosty marriage to Guy Ritchie came thisclose to breaking down this week when reports surfaced that she's been fielding grounders from New York Yankees star Alex Rodriguez. And Lenny Kravitz has something to do with it.
· Your job's a joke, you're broke, your love life's DOA. But don't fret! There's a Friends movie on the way (maybe).
· We wished the happiest of happy birthdays to Lindsay Lohan and Tom Cruise.
· We busted out our long lost graphing calculator and got all scientific on your asses by examining the comedic rise and fall of Mike Myers.
· Nude Nicole Kidman vs. the fully clothed Katie Holmes proved to be an uneven fight.
· Fanboys from sea to shining sea creamed their collective jeans when Megan Fox dumped Brian Austin Green. Brett Ratner called dibs and already has some erotic literature ready for their first date.
· Denise Richards carefully explained to her 13-year-old nephew exactly what a threesome is.
· At long last, anal lubricant got the recognition it so justly deserves.

Yesterday, we unveiled a short excerpt from Vanity Fair's exciting "Fresh New Hollywood Faces Of Tomorrow Today or Whatever" issue, in which Superbad breakout-sidekick Christopher Mintz-Plasse was made to answer a series of revealing multiple-choice questions. ("Coffee, tea, or me? Boxers or Lethal Injection?"). Accompanying the interview was a stunning black-and-white portrait, in which Mintz-Plasse teetered on a tree limb next to three comely up-and-comers: Zoë Kravitz (Lenny's kid), Superbad co-star Emma Stone, and Olivia "Honest to Blog" Thirlby. What the bucolic photograph successfully managed to hide, however, was that it was taken in the middle of a heavy downpour.

Burned once by the infamous Class of 2000, upon whom they bestowed their Vanity Fair ® Fresh Faces™ Seal of Approval—only to see each and every cover subject's careers offed in increasingly elaborate, Final Destination-esque death sequences—the celebrity-fellating periodical of record is taking no chances with its current "Hollywood's New Wave" issue: Virtually every actor below the age of 18 to earn so much as a single line of dialogue on an episode of iCarly has been profiled in their Bright Young Hollywood portfolio, each posing seductively in their very own Annie Leibovitz "just fucked" portrait. Among the inductees is Superbad star Christopher Mintz-Plasse. We shit you not: McLovin gets to answer his own Pimply Proust Questionnaire:

· One Tree Hill celebrates its 100th episode with a very special one in which Chad Michael Murray slips into autopilot while secretly fantasizing to himself about how nice it would be to break free of The CW ghetto for the feature movie career he so richly deserves. [Variety]
· Peter Berg signs on to direct Dune for Paramount, presumably righting whatever wrongs were committed against the sacred source material by David Lynch's Sting-in-a-licorice-thong version. [Variety]
· McLovin works! The voice talents of Christopher Mintz-Plasse, along with Superbad buddy and child insult comic Jonah Hill, will be employed to thrilling effect in Dreamworks's computer-animated fantasy, How to Train Your Dragon. [THR]

Earlier this month, we voiced our concern that Christopher Mintz-Plasse (aka McLovin) was in danger of becoming the next "Vote For Pedro" guy. Well, we just learned that a reporter from E! cornered McLovin at the Semi-Pro premiere the other night and asked him to respond to the item we filed. These were the first words out of his mouth:

When Napoleon Dynamite exploded into the pop culture universe back in the summer of 2004, more people than we care to remember walked around sporting "Vote For Pedro" t-shirts. In the wake of that film's inexplicable success, Jon Heder went back to work (albeit mostly unmemorably) while Efren Ramirez, better known as Pedro, seemed content just to ride the wave of popularity that the film provided him. During the next year, there was nary a public function that Ramirez DIDN'T show up to, nor was there a photo opp that went by without him sporting a goofy grin and his "Vote For Pedro" shirt (including the Academy Awards!). Why do we bring this up? Because we fear the very same thing is about to happen to McLovin.

In a mind-warping instance of teen-sex-comedy art imitating life, actor Christopher Mintz-Plasse, who played Superbad's McLovin, aka the Crown Prince of Fake-Hawaiian-I.D.-Brandishing Illicit Alcohol-Procuring Activities, was spotted by the staff at New York's Diner restaurant: "[One of the friends] had ordered a Stella and wine for himself and [McLovin] was drinking it. I was like, 'I think that guy's 17 years old — you're going to be written up.' He came in again the next night, and I said, 'I think that guy's McLovin — you should card him,' and the same thing happened: His buddy asked for the drink for him." [Grub Street]

As if having to deal with the exploits of Lost's ne'er-do-well cast wasn't enough, forever getting wasted on DHARMA-brand wine coolers and picked up winding across Honolulu highways searching in vain for a mid-season wrap party, Hawaiian officials now have to put up with a DVD release of Superbad that includes, among its many goodies, a replica of McLovin's iconic fake Hawaiian drivers license. Accused of being nothing more than an underage-drinking-facilitating prize in a Cracker Jack box, Wal-Mart has since complied with the mayor's request to pull the DVDs from local store shelves—a recall that could extend to all of its outlets:

· Breakout Superbad actor Christopher "McLovin" Mintz-Plasse takes the next step in his inevitable march towards Hollywood superstardom, signing on alongside Jack Black and Michael Cera (re-team!) for biblical comedy Year One. Judd Apatow is producing, but you've probably already guessed that part on your own. [THR]
· Butching up a resume recently marked by turns as flouncey pirates and singing barbers, Johnny Depp is coming aboard hardboiled™ director Michael Mann's Public Enemies for Universal, in which Depp will play notoriously ruthless, extravagantly well-hung gangster John Dillinger. [Variety]