A woman returned to her house in upstate New York Monday to discover she didn't have a house anymore, because her husband had razed it with a bulldozer while she was gone, with all her possessions still inside.

Dean is inconsolable because he's only 6, and he'll only be 7, which makes it—hold on, doing some quick math here—approximately 800 billion weeks before he can finally get married. That's forever! That's at least a thousand million days!