America's one-time favorite British person almost joined the cast of America's one-time favorite sitcom. A match made in sad heaven! Also today: news from Cannes, a bloody upfront scares us all, and of course Hunger Games casting news.
This week's box office battle wasn't supposed to be much of a battle at all. Zack Snyder's CGI crapfest was to sweep the land with its babydoll gunstresses and no one would stop it. But Holllywood is a place built of surprises...
On today's Access Hollywood Live, Matthew McConaughey spoke about being a parent for some time. He mentioned that his daughter loves to eat dirt—and immediately freaked out that those words would be the sound-byte of the whole interview.
Will Kim's world explode when Kris Jenner and Kris Humphries meet? Lea Michele made a 14-year-old girl cry. Eddie Cibrian bought LeAnn Rimes' engagement ring after getting his child support reduced. Friday gossip is full of uncomfortable realizations.
Don't tell Sarah Palin, but he wants to murder a mom. Also: James Cameron is everywhere forever, he will never die. A song gets turned into a movie, later to be turned into a Broadway musical, probably. HBO is dead.
• Is Tiger Woods in New York right now? Did he settle with his estranged wife by handing her a check for $300 million? In two pretty dubious stories now making the rounds, a friend of Elin Nordegren says Woods' scorned wife—who spent the holiday weekend at a French ski resort—has been telling pals she got a $300 million gift for Christmas from her estranged husband. Meanwhile, rumors also surfaced that Woods was spending the weekend holed up at New York's Trump International Hotel, where he ordered huge amounts of Red Bull and vodka and was accompanied by a "leggy blond." Alas, the paparazzi camped out outside the hotel never caught a glimpse of him and the hotel staff denied Woods was ever there. [NYDN, NYP]
• Down in St. Barts, Russian billionaire Roman Abramovich made it rain by hosting a $5 million New Year's Eve party at his $90 million estate. Beyoncé, Gwen Stefani and Prince all performed at the shindig, and the Russian mogul's party—along with fetes hosted by Larry Gagosian and Paul Allen—attracted a long list of boldface names to the island, including Jay-Z, Orlando Bloom and Miranda Kerr, Marc Jacobs and Lorenzo Martone, Rachel Zoe, Harvey Weinstein and Georgina Chapman, and Russell Simmons. For her part, Lindsay Lohan spent much of the weekend aboard Abramovich's boat, where she was seen jet-skiing and shopping in a teeny bikini and ginormous wedge heels. She also sent out a rather ominous tweet on New Year's Eve: "Everyone get ready for more (but positive—LOHAN MAYHEM!!!" Sigh. [NYP, People, DM]
• According to Peter Biskind's new biography of Warren Beatty—and some "simple arithmetic" on the part of Biskind—the actor has bedded 12,775 women during his lifetime. Annette Bening must be so proud. [NYP]
A 72-year-old man decries his last chance to be baller. An update on Paris Hilton's sex life involves swine. Another posthumous Jacko release, and it's terrible. Tiger gives Elin $300M, and she laughs in his face. Monday gossip cometh.
• Madonna is reportedly "taking a more active role" in promoting boy toy Jesus Luz's career. She turned up to hear him spin at the Valentino party the other night, danced with "some hot fashion guys," mingled for a little, and then they left together. But that doesn't mean she's offered to do a song with him. "There are steps!" he said. "You can't just start out and collaborate with Madonna." He also says that he always plays her stuff because, you know, "It's great." [P6, NYDN]
• After Michael Lohan released a sob-filled phone call from Lindsay yesterday, she Twittered that her dad is "such a loser"; "those recordings are from years ago"; and "he needs the book for dummies on how to be a man." She also indicted she may ask her lawyer to file a restraining order against her dad and/or sue him. So, no hopes for a reconciliation just yet then? [TMZ, NYP, Us]
• Making matters worse, there is now another recording of LiLo chatting with her mother that's been released. [Radar Online]
• Mariah Carey said she'd been a victim of emotional and mental abuse on Larry King Live last night: "To really get out, it was difficult because there was a connection that was not only a marriage but a business thing, where the person was in control of my life." Tommy Mottola, anyone? [CNN, People]
Break out the Cristal. Mr. Sean Combs turns 40 today. Perhaps he'll get together later to celebrate with Bethenny Frankel of the Real Housewives of New York: She's turning 39. Others blowing out candles today: Matthew McConaughey is turning 40. Kathy Griffin is turning 49. Laura Bush is 63. Survivor host Jeff Probst turns 47. Author Charles Frazier is turning 59. Playwright Jon Robin Baitz is 48. Literary agent Andrew Wylie is turning 62. Publishing industry honcho Jonathan Galassi is 60. Anne Sweeney, the president of Disney/ABC president, is turning 51. Ralph Macchio of Karate Kid fame is 48. And Trishelle from The Real World is 30.
Matthew McConaughey leaving the Mandarin Oriental Hotel to head to Central Park to go jogging ... Matt Damon and wife Luciana having lunch yesterday at Sant Ambroeus ... Helena Christensen walking in the West Village ... Dustin Hoffman talking on his cell phone ... Julianne Moore walking around in the Village ... ... Michelle Williams taking daughter Matilda to school in Brooklyn ... Mark Wahlberg hanging out on the set of The Other Guys downtown ... Sienna Miller walking her dog in SoHo and later getting iced coffee from Green Symphony on West 43rd Street ... and Kurt Russell walking uptown in his Yankee cap.
Mischa Barton shopping downtown before heading to the gym ... Catherine Zeta-Jones crossing the street on the Upper East Side ... Christina Milian leaving her hotel ... Hugh Jackman walking daughter Ava to school ... Matthew McConaughey and Camila Alves arriving at JFK ... Will Ferrell and Mark Wahlberg hanging out on the set of The Other Guys ... Michelle Williams walking daughter Matilda to school ... the singer Monica sitting in an SUV outside her hotel in Midtown ... Shakira standing in front of the Plaza Hotel ... and Sienna Miller walking her dog downtown.
• Are Michelle Williams and Spike Jonze planning to head down the aisle this summer? That's what the Star claims, since the two have been together "almost a year" and supposedly "don't see why they should wait much longer." As good a reason as any! [Star]
• Sam Ronson changed her relationship status on Facebook to "It's complicated," and says she and LiLo have started talking again, which may mean they're getting back together. [Us]
• Mary-Kate Olsen "kept touching" actor Bradley Cooper at a Tribeca Film Festival party, which could be a sign that they might be dating. [NYDN]
• Parker Posey showed off her new man at the festival, too. She's dating a sculptor named Scott Lenhardt. [NYM]
Madonna has had a terrible riding accident and is recuperating in the Hamptons. Other celebrities have done things too, but not horse-related things.
• Both Katie Holmes and Nicole Kidman have active cases of herpes, reports Page Six, something you should probably keep in mind in the event either woman tries to plant a kiss on you. [P6]
• William H. Macy will take over for Jeremy Piven in Speed-the-Plow now that the Pivster has overdosed on sushi and will need to take time off to cleanse his sacred temple from mercury. [NYP]
• Marci Klein, SNL producer and daughter of Calvin, is calling it quits with her husband of eight years, Scott Murphy. [P6]
