Mary Jane Irwin, my first hire at Valleywag, has joined Forbes.com as a staff troublemaker and insult comic. Congrats, MJ! And I'm sorry, Fake Steve.

Let me replay a scene from the heated negotiations that brought me to Valleywag. Nick Denton, Noah Robischon, and I are sitting at a table at Balthazar, Denton's home away from home in New York's Soho neighborhood. "Minions!" I shout at Denton, upending a few espresso cups as I slam the table. "I demand minions!" Denton shrinks in his chair and looks at Robischon. "We can get him minions, right?" the blog mogul whispers. "Well, maybe if we cut Sicha's male-hookers budget," says Robischon, as he whips out his programmable calculator. "Screw Choire!" I bellow. "Minions!"