· In their highly anticipated return to rumors of reuniting, Martin Scorsese is attached to direct Robert De Niro in I Heard You Paint Houses, based on the story of a mob hit man reputedly linked to the death of Jimmy Hoffa. Steven Zaillian will adapt the source book. [Variety] · With the Jetsons movie permanently stalled and Huckleberry Hound resting snugly on the bottom of the Hanna-Barbera remake barrel, Warner Bros. has defaulted to Yogi Bear as its live-action/animation hybrid to make entire generations cringe in 2010. [THR] After the jump: Kung Fu Panda reups in 3D, Fringe reups in 2D, and crisis! grips! Bollywood!· Jack Black and Angelina Jolie will return for a 3D Kung Fu Panda sequel, prompting the Chinese scientists so humiliated by the first one to ramp up their pursuit of a fourth dimension for their eagerly awaited response. [THR] · The number of new DVD titles released through August is down almost 15% from the same time last year, 8,661 to 7,381. Come on, Hollywood — let's get going! Harvey can't keep up this pace all by himself! [THR] · The Bollywood film industry is in a standstill today after 147,000 workers in 22 unions (even the dancing girls!) went on strike to protest substandard pay and work conditions. In related news, Warnari Bros. Studios drew fan wrath after the stoppage forced them to delay the release of Hari Puttar 2 to summer 2009. [Variety] · You wanted it (we think), you got it: Fox ordered a full season of JJ Abrams's Fringe. [THR]

E! just aired an "exclusive" long version of an American Express advertisement involving Tina Fey and Martin Scorsese. That sounds like a cheap gimmick — we're supposed to get excited about first-run commercials now? — but it's actually a funny ad and the most interesting part of the Emmy awards so far, despite all the red carpet coverage. It also manages to make people briefly car about travel agents, even though the vast majority of them were made obsolete by the internet. Click the video icon to watch. UPDATE: With second ad.

It's a shocker, we know: Leonardo DiCaprio is set to star in yet another biopic, this time as Atari founder Nolan Bushnell. The Hollywood Reporter notes that screenwriters Brian Hecker and Craig Sherman sold their script Atari to Paramount on Friday, with DiCaprio's Appian Way shingle producing the story of "the godfather of the video game industry," whom we'd probably like just fine were he not also the shithead who foisted the Chuck E. Cheese chain on an unsuspecting American public.

We vowed not to feel bad about drinking for 72 hours straight over the holiday, but seeing today how constructively Panopticist's Andrew Hearst spent his weekend, it's hard not to flog ourselves. After all, shouldn't our own curiosity have gotten the better of us years ago when we first heard those rumors about the screenplay for Martin Scorsese's most underrated '80s film, After Hours, being plagiarized from NPR host Joe Frank's 1982 monologue Lies? At any rate, Hearst now has audio that all but closes the book on this semi-scandal:

· Jonathan Demme has stepped in for the departing Martin Scorsese on the authorized Bob Marley documentary project. This is the movie Marley's estate want released before the Weinstein's Bob biopic, a scheduling snafu that caused an irate Harvey to whip a can of Diet Coke at an assistant's head as he taunted the incapacitated call-roller to, "C'mon, Josh! Get up, stand up. Stand up for your rights!" [Variety]
· More legend docs! Spike Lee told a crowd at Cannes that he's hoping to bring a feature-length documentary about Michael Jordan to the festival next year, contingent of course on Denzel playing Michael. [Variety]

Knowing what we know about Spike Lee's constructively critical awards-podium jeremiads, we think the filmmaker doth protest too much this week about his lack of faith in the Academy Awards. Nevertheless, the sadist in us also appreciates his analysis of the vagaries of Oscar justice that we presume will embrace Lee one of these days:

People use Facebook for social networking. Everything else is a joke. Oh, Marty. You want to be my "friend" on MySpace now? This is more embarrassing than New York, New York. [via AdRants]

Because our Sunday wouldn't have been the same without at least four hours committed to work, Defamer crashed yesterday's U.S. press conference for the new Martin Scorsese/Rolling Stones concert film Shine a Light. It's not half-bad for Stones or Scorsese fans, with a rangy set list and intoxicating camerawork that both might run a little long for the average viewer. Not easily starstruck, we nevertheless felt a mild succession of twinges upon the band and their director's entrance ("Holy shit, Keith Richards really does look like that," etc.), none more acute than when a Paramount publicist, clearly by accident, let us sneak a question in.

· In case you missed it—and apparently many, many of you did—it was the Oscars last night. "The Awards averaged a 21.9 rating/33 share. That's down a sharp 21% from last year and the lowest on record in at least 20 years." [THR]
· Martin Scorsese and his widow-peaked muse Leonardo DiCaprio have pre-sold their latest collaboration, an adaptation of Dennis Lehane novel Shutter, to foreign markets for record-breaking amounts. Explained one Italian distribution rep, "That Leo. He, how do you say, nails hot models? And we love the little eyebrows-one, and his little movies. Very good!" [THR]

[Film director Martin Scorsese with the Rolling Stones at the Berlin Film Festival yesterday; image via WENN]

"Marty" is responsible for some of the most influential American films of the last thirty years, including Taxi Driver and Raging Bull.

· Attempting to keep vital a love affair they began back on the set of Gangs of New York, director Martin Scorcese and still-boyish muse Leonardo DiCaprio will reteam once again on Shutter Island, an adaptation of a Dennis Lehane novel about a U.S. Marshal investigating the disappearance of a dangerous crazy lady in the 1950s. [Variety]
· ABC picks up the back nine episodes for this season of Pushing Daisies, bringing their order to a full 22 hours of beautifully shot, expensively produced whimsy. You know, unless the writers fulfill the networks' secret wish to wipe out the rest of the TV season. [THR]
· ABC's Samantha Who? posts another "solid" Nielsen performance on Monday night, while NBC's Heroes set a new series low. Also: Dancing with the Stars wins the night behind Marie Osmond's dramatic fainting spell, leading producers to plan a stunt in which Jennie Garth will suffer an orchestrated, on-camera ankle fracture on next week's show. [Variety]

· ABC yanks once-hyped Knights of Properity from its schedule with four episodes yet to air, then compounds the indignity by replacing the series with reruns of According to Jim and George Lopez, which stings even more than a looming cancellation. [Variety]
· The post-Oscar The Departed love-in shows no signs of abating, with Martin Scorcese and Mark Wahlberg teaming up to produce an HBO series about the development of Atlantic City. [THR]
· ABC Television Studio signs Borat/Curb/Seinfeld/Entourage producer Larry Charles to a two-and-a-half-year deal to write and direct various TV projects, which we assume will not include an assignment to oversee their hybrid Geico Cavemen sitcomfomercial. [Variety]
· The MPAA's Dan Glickman says that 2006's 5.5% increase in movie ticket sales was a "reminder" that worldwide audiences "enjoy going to the movies," while a Slump-tainted '05 was "a clear message that we were putting out some pretty terrible shit." [THR]
· Bored former Disney CEO Michael Eisner tries to occupy his idle time by collecting baseball card companies. [Variety]

· The Departed's freshly minted Oscar-winning duo of Martin Scorsese and William Monahan are already reteaming for another project, the "rock n' roll epic" The Long Play for Paramount. Of course, now that Scorsese's got his statue he can totally mail it in on this one. [Variety]
· More Departed reunions: William Monahan and Leo DiCaprio are getting back together for a remake of the Hong Kong thriller Confessions of Pain for Warner Bros. [THR]
· Paul Haggis' The Black Donnellys underwhelms with its premiere performance in Studio 60's former Monday night timeslot, a result the show's producers can easily blame on Aaron Sorkin's permanent tainting of the 10pm hour. [Variety]
· Pilot casting round-up: Carrie-Anne Moss in ABC drama Suspect; Marisa Janet Winokur in CBS comedy Fugly; William Baldwin in ABC drama Dirty Sexy Money; Christopher Titus in an untitled ABC Jon Feldman project; Swoosie Kurtz in ABC drama Pushing Daisies. [THR]
· Save the date! The Screen Actors Guild stakes out January 27th for next year's installment of its Saggie Awards. [Variety]

The Defamer Special Correspondent On Oscar Parties Which Began After We Were Already Passed Out And Didn't End By The Time We Regained Consciousness This Morning, after somehow surviving the horrors of a Foxx-Whitaker sandwich, has just filed this report from last night's after-orgy at Soho House's temporary outpost in the Hills, where virtually everyone in Hollywood put in an appearance (Scorsese! Leo! Sober Lohan!) at some time point during the night. The list of names far too numerous to render in boldface follows:

An eagle-eyed reader directed us to return to the TiVo for a replay of Martin Scorsese's Best Director victory speech, during which an inopportune cut to audience reactions clearly spotlights the hand of Clint Eastwood's wife taking a couple of swipes at the Oscar-nominated helmer's crotch. Sure, she's probably just brushing some crumbs from his pants, but she just as easily could be patting Lil' Clint, doing her best to console her husband's suddenly withering manhood after a disappointing loss to an inferior Scorsese effort.

· Oscar Recap Mania! Var and THR remind you about the Oscar moments you were too drunk to remember this morning. [Variety, THR]
· In your face, Altman, Hitchcock, and Kubrick! Martin Scorsese's Best Director win betters the recognition received by those directing legends, who had to settle for honorary Oscars (Bob and Alfred) or nothing at all (Big Stanley). [Variety]
· Warning, members of the media bold enough to suggest that The Departed might not be one of Scorsese's better films: Producer Graham King will melt off your fucking face with lasers emitted from his eyeballs. [THR]
· More Oscar Fun Facts: Alan Arkin's win comes 40 years after his first nomination. That offers some hope to Eddie Murphy, who'll only have to work until 2047 to have a shot at repeating the feat of the man who stole his Oscar last night. [Variety]
· The Oscar telecast's ratings are up slightly over last year's Crash-marred debacle, bumping from 2006's one billion viewers to last night's 1,000,000,002. [THR]
· Anyone who claimed to know that The Departed would win Best Picture is full of shit, says Var. Nonetheless, we'll go on the record as being full of shit: We totally knew! [Variety]

· Things are looking sunny for Marty: As most had predicted, he picked up the top feature award from the Directors Guild of America, his first win after seven previous nominations. 52 of the past 58 winners have gone on to take the Oscar, though that doesn't completely rule out the possibility he won't get slighted again, at which point a global audience can delight in watching his eyebrows instantly turn ashen white. [Variety]
· Steve Martin, presenting an award to the DGA awards longtime host Carl Reiner, won the Dirty Old Man One-Liner of the Night Award with this comment about Leelee Sobieski*: "I've been backstage trying to convince Leelee Sobieski that the best way to remove double stick tape is with saliva." [The Envelope]
· The 34th annual Evening Standard British Film Awards gives its top acting honor to—muted gasp!—Judi Dench for Notes on a Scandal, not Helen Mirren for The Queen. Daniel Craig nabbed the top actor award for Casino Royale, and his anguished approximation of what it might feel like to have one's testicles whacked repeatedly with a knotted rope. [Reuters]

· The Film Experience blog compiles a list of people you're probably going to be pretty sick of by the end of 2007.
· The LAT examines the Spoof Movie Fart Joke Mystique.
· A question to which we don't care to ever know the answer: What's Up With Brit's Necklace?
· Rachel Zoe to reveal the utterly mysterious ways in which she transformed many of your favorite troubled starlets into stylish, stick-thin zombies.
· A fun thing for film nerds to discuss: Martin Scorsese's use of X's in The Departed.
· And the award for Best Sneaky Use Of A Network Catchphrase In A Publicist's Statement goes to this Bravo flack for working "Watch What Happens" into her response to the Top Chef spoiler flap.

Smelling money all over him in the aftermath of The Departed's success, Brad Grey lures Martin Scorcese into a four-year deal with Paramount, which includes the unique provision that the 'Mount can own half of any movie the director does for another studio while still retaining 100 percent of his soul. [Variety]
· Lindsay Lohan parlays her significant real-life experience of playing a victim on a variety of talk shows into a role portraying a more dramatic kind of victimhood in the psychological thriller I Know Who Killed Me. [THR]
After the firing of striking America's Next Top Model story editors, the WGA files unfair labor practice charges against Executive Producer Ken Mok's Anisa productions with the National Labor Relations Board. The Guild calls the action strike-breaking, while Mok claims that once they figured out how to force their IATSE-unionized editors to make their cast of skinny models seem remotely interesting, having writers around just seemed silly and wasteful. [Variety]
The FCC asserts that Hollywood can't say "fuck" and "shit" on the public airwaves whenever it wants, even when those words are mouthed by Cher and Nicole Richie at awards shows nobody cares about. [THR]
· Chastened by the historic fuck-ups of 2000 and 2004, the networks showed a new hesitancy to incorrectly project last night's election results. [Variety]