With every day that passes, it seems like yet another politician is jumping aboard the good, maniacal ship Jade Helm conspiracy theory. And according to a new poll from Rasmussen, these lovable lunatics we elected into office are not alone. Because 45 percent of voters “are concerned” that Jade Helm is just a cover for martial law in the American Southwest.

This is a video made by The Onion in 2007, showing a congressman—played by an actor—read out a largely classified bill about a zombie invasion. Recently, it's been making the rounds on Facebook—but not as a satire.

The city is plagued by gun violence, so Democratic lawmakers are asking for the National Guard to use techniques learned on "nation-building assignments in Iraq and Afghanistan" to restore order. Glenn Beck was right... martial law is coming! [AP, pic]