OH GOOD GOD THIS CAN'T. WAIT. UNTIL. TOMORROW. HUG LOVED ONES. DON'T STAND NEAR ANY WINDOWS. SHELTER YOUR THIRD-WORLD CHILDREN. GO TO CHURCH, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD! Brad and Angelina appear to be breaking up. UPDATE: Perez offers dissent.

Damn, Charlie Sheen: the slate was clean for what? Two years? Does it matter anymore? Charlie Sheen choked his wife out for Christmas. He got arrested, she's not talking to cops, he's still the highest paid actor in television.