Watch this video, via Good Morning America, and see the desperate measures killer whales will resort to when they're forced into a tank that's a fraction of a percentage of their normal environment and made to do tricks appealing to stupid humans instead of composing their pop songs and devising plans for a panglobal peaceful society.

On Monday, we brought you the heartwarming story of Sgt. Scott Moore, a US Marine stationed in Afghanistan who posted a no-frills YouTube invitation to Mila Kunis, asking her to join him as his date to the Marine Corps Birthday Ball (held November 12 at the Gaylord Resort and Convention Center in Maryland). Her Friends With Benefits costar Justin Timberlake convinced her to say yes during a live interview, and word quickly trickled back to Moore. The Corps has now sent out an official interview, in which Moore reacts to the exciting news that he's now just a couple bases short of catching up with Natalie Portman: