Remember Push: Based on a Novel By Sapphire, the wild Mariah Carey/Mo'Nique starrer that lit up Sundance (and took home three awards)? Lionsgate took our advice and bought it, and now things have gone haywire.

• Times publisher Arthur Sulzberger Jr. has a girlfriend. Except it's not Caroline Kennedy as some have suggested. Sulzberger, who separated from his wife in March, is dating a "vivacious" lady named Helen Ward, who he met in Peru a year ago and who is separated from her husband, too. [P6]
• Jeremy Piven brought his cocktail waitress girlfriend to the SAG Awards on Sunday night, but the poor thing didn't even get to sit with him during the ceremony. [NYDN]
• Michael Lohan is asking fans of his daughter to help him free Lindsay of Samantha Ronson's "bondage." [NYDN]

• Lizzie Grubman gave birth to another son yesterday. Little Jack arrived ahead of schedule, though, which must be wreaking havoc on Lizzie's weekend plans. [P6]
• Larry King lost "more than $1 million" to Bernie Madoff. And some sources say Madoff is now contending with some "serious" health issues. [P6]
• Tom Cruise is undergoing an image makeover so he can win back female fans. This will reportedly prohibit him from wearing sunglasses on the red carpet, getting grabby with Katie Holmes, or lecturing TV hosts on psychiatric medications. [Star]

Today should be a busy day for thieves who earn a living robbing the homes of the rich and famous: Hundreds of celebs and corporate titans have been in Washington today for the inauguration and are expected to put in appearances at one of the many official and unofficial balls scheduled for this evening. Barack and Michelle will make their first stop this evening at the Neighborhood Ball, where the lineup includes Mariah Carey, Jay-Z, Beyonce, Alicia Keys, will.i.am, Stevie Wonder, Faith Hill, Shakira, and Mary J. Blige. The Equality Ball at the Mayflower Hotel will feature entertainment by Cyndi Lauper, Melissa Etheridge and Rufus Wainwright. Lou Gossett Jr. will serve as host at the Purple Ball, where performances by Il Divo and Peter Cincotti will entertain the likes of Tim Robbins and Susan Sarandon, John Cusack, Ed Harris, Ashley Judd, Patricia Arquette, Brendan Fraser, and Josh Lucas.

What distinguishes Push: Based on a Novel By Sapphire from every other Sundance movie? Let's start with Mariah Carey sporting the faintest hint of a mustache and go from there.

Claire Danes bundled up on a walk in SoHo with boyfriend Hugh Dancy ... Kate Hudson leaving her apartment in the West Village ... Taylor Swift leaving her hotel en route to an appearance on SNL ... Sarah Jessica Parker getting in a Prius outside her Village apartment ... Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon standing under an umbrella after leaving Japonais on East 18th Street ... Naomi Watts and Liev Schreiber unloading luggage from an SUV in front of their NoHo apartment ... Elisabeth Hasselbeck posing for photos on the sidewalk ... Madonna leaving the Waverly Inn with photographer Steven Klein, shortly before Kanye West turned up ... and Katie Holmes and Suri boarding a helicopter at the West 30th Street heliport.

• Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson got into yet another public spat while heading home to LA after spending New Year's in Miami. Lindsay eventually got so upset a flight attendant suggested LiLo disembark. [TMZ]
• George Soros reportedly spent New Year's partying with "two young brunettes" on Paul Allen's yacht, Octopus, off St. Barts. Now at least we know where son Alex gets it from. [P6]
• Queen Latifah was robbed of $10,000 worth of jewelry while on vacation in Trinidad and Tobago over Christmas. [Us]
• Kathy Griffin made a dick joke during CNN's live NYE broadcast with Anderson Cooper. The video is here, in case you care. [NYP]

• Jeremy Piven's latest conquest? A 23-year-old model/bottle waitress at Mansion named Ashley Chontos, who was the first to respond to Piven's late-night text appeal ("Come to my room—whoever responds first gets me for the night") and who, you'll be happy to hear, is standing by her man, even though he's in Bangkok so he can "recover" from "mercury poisoning." [NYDN]
• Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony are supposedly divorcing in a few weeks, or at least that's what the Daily News says. For the time being, though, they seem to be enjoying themselves in Puerto Rico. [E!]
• Mia Farrow's daughter's death may have been been AIDS-related. [NYP]
• Mariah Carey is supposedly in talks to make a Broadway musical about her life and hopes Leona Lewis, Vanessa Hudgens, or Eva Longoria will take on the lead role. [Telegraph]

• Tom Cruise says he loves flying, hockey, football, skydiving, horse riding, mountain climbing and scuba diving. Oh, and he also says he'd like to have seven more kids with Katie Holmes. [The Sun]
• Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony plan to end their marriage "right after Marc's show at Madison Square Garden on Feb. 14," which sounds like excellent timing, if you ask us. [NYDN]
• Is Mariah Carey pregnant? Yes? No? Do you care? [P6, Fox News]
• No one is quite sure if Tom Brady proposed to Gisele last week. [NYDN]
• Whitney Port, you'll be shocked to hear, rarely turns up to her "day job." [P6]
• Heather Mills' former nanny is suing her for having to "blow-dry Mills' hair, work unreasonable hours, and spray-tan a naked Mills." [MSNBC]
• Condé Nast CEO Chuck Townsend may be slashing staff, but he's still charging the company for private jet flights. [P6]
• Assuming you have access to a very good house cleaning service, the Kardashian residence in LA is now on the market for $3.395 mil. [TMZ]

Stephanie Seymour playing with her daughter on the beach in St. Barts ... Woody Allen and Soon-Yi Previn leaving the Ritz in Paris ... Hilary Swank standing outside a ski lodge in Aspen ... Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon walking around Aspen in ski gear ... Naomi Watts and Liev Schreiber packing up their SUV with son Alexander and baby Samuel ... Alicia Keys laying by the pool in Australia ... and Gwyneth Paltrow going out for the night with Stella McCartney and Madonna in London.

The Screen Actors Guild took its finger off the nuke button long enough to select 2008 awards nominations, while the Academy narrowed its Best Song candidates to a modest 49.

Ethan Hawke walking with wife Ryan Shawhughes and his three kids ... Nick Cannon and Mariah Carey getting out of their Maybach ... a cheery-looking James Franco holding a notebook and cup of coffee ... Diane Kruger hailing a cab ... Steven Tyler dressed in leopard pants outside the Trump International Hotel ... Bill Murray leaving a store with a woman ... Katie Holmes shopping with Suri and her parents ... Rihanna and Chris Brown catching a flight at LaGuardia ... Ashley Tisdale holding hands with her boyfriend at JFK ... and Amy Poehler, Cameron Diaz, and Casey Affleck heading into the SNL afterparty.

♦ Either Mariah Carey is pregnant or she's determined to do whatever it takes to stay in the spotlight. The diva was spotted looking "ebullient" on her way out of an OB/GYN's office in LA, where she was greeted by a cheering entourage and seen clutching "what looked like a sonogram." [P6, Mirror]
♦ Kate Moss skipped champagne and wore a loose dress to a Vogue event in China, which means she must be pregnant, too. [The Sun]
♦ In an upcoming issue of O, Oprah says she's "fallen off the wagon" and now weighs 200 lbs. But she blames it on her "out-of-balance thyroid," which gave her "a fear of working out." [AP]
♦ Russian billionaire Roman Abramovich watching soccer at Nevada Smith's in the East Village with girlfriend Dasha Zhukova? We can hardly believe it. [P6]
♦ Steve Schwarzman insisting on remaining centerstage at yesterday's Vanity Fair photo shoot? That sounds likely. [P6]

• Kate Moss and her boyfriend may be welcoming a child into their continuous boxing match/family.

♦ People got Alex Rodriguez to open up about his relationship with Madonna. Or, you know, maybe not. The slugger claims that they're just "friends—that's it." He also says he's never been on a plane with her, despite the countless photos that clearly indicate otherwise. [People]
♦ Have Tea Leoni and David Duchovny reunited? Star reports they were spotted holding hands at a Tasti D-Lite on the Upper East Side and they've picked up a $7.5 million apartment in the East 70s. [Star]
♦ It looks like Harvey Weinstein and Scott Rudin may have buried the hatchet after Harvey publicly thanked Scott at the premiere of The Reader on Wednesday night. [P6]
♦ A London jury has found Boy George guilty of false imprisonment for having handcuffed a Norwegian male escort to a wall. [People]

♦ Madonna and A-Rod are reportedly shopping for "love nests" on the Upper East Side. They're looking for something between Fifth and Park, from 60th Street through the 80s, in case you have any suggestions. Oh, and they're looking for retreats in Hamptons, too. [P6]
♦ The blame game begins: Ivana's friends say her split with Rossano Rubicondi was his fault because he's been dating a model. Rossano, meanwhile, says Ivana is to blame because she's been dating a model. [R&M]
♦ Robert and Blaine Trump are scheduled to make their first appearance in Manhattan Supreme Court this morning as the couple looks to end their 25-year marriage. Prepare for things to get "exceptionally ugly." [NYP]
♦ Uma Thurman's parents unknowingly hired one of the bookers from Ashley Dupre's escort agency to run their upstate yoga center. [NYP]

Mariah Carey wants an Oscar, and we're thrilled to announce that she actually has a shot: Her Straight-to-Flopz™ indie Tennessee will launch its required theatrical qualifying run next month in L.A. and New York, clearing the way for the telecast-challenged Academy to welcome Carey to perform her potential Best Original Song nominee "Right to Dream." And Mariah. Can't. Wait.Nor can we, despite the low odds for Carey to pull a Grobanesque showstopper that the Oscarcast most certainly needs. Her reasoning is much purer, however, not so unlike the dulcet tones of her awards-hopeful and the heart-squeezing, Willie Nelson-aided sincerity at its core:

♦ Things are going from bad to worse for Damon Dash and Rachel Roy: Three months after a bank foreclosed on their two Tribeca condos, Dash's Chevy Tahoe was seized this week after he failed to make the monthly lease payments. Does this mean he's already lost his Maybach? [NYDN]
♦ Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson were supposedly getting engaged yesterday. Today the relationship is supposedly "heading for choppy waters," because Lindsay wants to "explore her heterosexuality." [The Sun]
♦ How is Lindsay's publicist explaining her client's description of Barack Obama earlier this week as the country's first "colored President"? She says no one knows what LiLo really said, since it was "unintelligible." [MSNBC]
♦ Katie Holmes is supposedly refusing to move back to LA after she's finished on Broadway. Why? Because she doesn't get dragged to as many Scientology events when she's in NYC. [NYDN]

♦ Remember last month when Gwyneth Paltrow said she was trying to be supportive of her good friend Madonna during her divorce? It seems Madge was less than moved by the gesture and now she's warning Gwyneth to keep her mouth shut and "say nothing about me or my divorce." [National Enquirer]
♦ Meanwhile, Madonna has supposedly been telling a "close pal" that Alex Rodriguez sends her poetry and "has the heart of a poet trapped inside an insanely gorgeous body." [P6]
♦ Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson are supposedly planning to "officially get engaged" while they're in Paris this week. [The Sun]
♦ Now that she's back from London (where she reportedly brought 20 pieces of luggage on a three-day trip), Mariah Carey is supposedly organizing her holiday vacation to Aspen, where her plans include rolling around in the snow in a red bikini and decorating her bedroom to look like the North Pole. [MSNBC, The Sun, P6]

♦ Guy Ritchie met up with sons David and Rocco in London yesterday for the first time since October, but only after agreeing to follow a list of rules issued by Madonna, which included no new friends, no fast food, no newspapers, and no TV. [Us, Mirror]
♦ Back in the US, Madonna supposedly threw an "intimate dinner party" at her apartment so she could introduce Alex Rodriguez to a group of her friends. [Mirror]
♦ One week after Tim Robbins experienced a few problems trying to cast his vote in the presidential election, officials now say they pinpointed the issue: Robbins turned up at the wrong polling location, which he might have known if he'd bothered to vote in the mid-term elections. [NYDN, P6]