Tonight, Lambs across America were glued to the television watching Mariah Carey's holiday concert special, which included a duet of "O Come All Ye Faithful/Hallelujah Chorus" with her mother, Patricia. And in true diva style, Carey upstaged Mom. Watch inside.

Tom sneaks mascara and facials behind Katie's back. Jim Carrey likes kissing Ewan McGregor. Brad Pitt's nose hair secret revealed! Gwyneth Paltrow has a filthy sense of humor. Wednesday gossip ranges from superficial to superficially sordid.

Yesterday, a very pregnant Mariah Carey graced HSN—several times!—to hawk everything from perfume (which she hates), to shoes, to a Ring Pop necklace. Carey also repeated herself ad nauseam, and—as this compilation from Rich Juzwiak shows—it was awesome.

Today, Jessica Simpson debuted the first single from her upcoming Christmas album, called, "My Only Wish (For Christmas Is You)." One problem: it's a total rip off of Mariah Carey's "All I Want For Christmas Is You." Listen inside.

After months of speculation, Mariah Carey announced this morning that she is pregnant with Nick Cannon's child. She must be so pissed at Thandie Newton for letting the cat out of the bag last night.

Today, Thandie Newton visited The View to promote Tyler Perry's For Colored Girls. After Joy Behar noted that Newton was cast after Mariah Carey—subject of rampant pregnancy speculation—dropped out, Newton explained why: "[Carey] is pregnant." Oops? Video inside.

Taylor and Jake flirt their way across New York. A Sports Illustrated model gets in a catfight. Celine Dion's husband describes his wife's numerologically perfect birth. Tuesday gossip is a windswept romance.

Last week, Mariah Carey hawked her new CD, Merry Christmas II You, on HSN. During the segment, several fart-like noises, uh, emitted. Was it Carey? No! Apparently, it was her leather chair. Here's a video from Rich Juzwiak that explains.

Host Joan Rivers opened Friday's Fashion Police with snide remarks about Mariah Carey's possibly pregnant belly. After kicking off with a low blow, the mean streak continued with a round of Starlet or Streetwalker. It's exactly as it sounds.

David Arquette's rumored mistress is a bar brawling Hollywood mean girl. Courteney Cox ditches her wedding ring. Minka Kelly's mother was a stripper. Al Franken makes an airport security joke. Tuesday gossip sneaks into your bed and steals your husband.

Ben Harper and Laura Dern: Splitsville, USA. Population: Them. Justin Bieber's new line of nail polish! Mariah Carey throws a birthday bash. Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart spotted doing normal couple things. Sunday Gossip Roundup! It's here.

Calling all Lambs! This morning, Mariah Carey graced the world with the first single from her upcoming Merry Christmas II You album, titled "Oh Santa." It's criminally catchy, obviously, and sure to become the next classic Christmas tune. Listen inside.

Mr. Mariah Carey seeks sponsors for his birthday party. Paris Hilton "quits the club scene." Liza Minnelli celebrates photo retouching. Lindsay Lohan gets a job. Wednesday gossip will get you through the hump of the week.

Paris Hilton settles a lawsuit and makes history. Lindsay Lohan volunteers at a homeless shelter. Mariah Carey falls onstage at a concert. Lady Gaga dons a black leotard of mourning. Monday gossip is ready for its close-up.

This week, Star magazine investigates the perilous lives of celebrity assistants. But what's the point of having power if you can't abuse it? A guide to which underling abuses are reasonable, and which will just get you sent to jail.

"Do it again," murmurs Miley after a public, videotaped spanking. Drew Barrymore wants to punch a "bitch" journalist. Enrique Iglesias: "Fame is the best aphrodisiac you can have." Thursday gossip is for the fetishists.

Welcome to Monday's gossip roundup, in which we gather every horrifying new detail about Speidi's sex tape (blackmail! ultimatums!) and how it inspires Snooki's ex. Meanwhile, Brad Pitt wants to murder BP executives and LiLo's lawyer heads back to court.

Behold, a hidden gem from the Sesame Street vault: a Mariah Carey parody in which a barn animal—introduced by the host as "Mariah Cowey," natch—sings "Some Hay," a take on "Someday" with a dried grass twist. Video inside.

"Miserable" Britney seeks solace with a sleazy ex-boyfriend. Kim Kardashian has a new beau. Robert Pattinson "just took a shit on the Queen's face." (Sort of.) Lindsay Lohan's ex-assistant remains loyal. Thursday gossip will stab you in the back.

Mariah Carey's vet is suing her for $30,000 she says she's owed for caring for three of Mimi's Jack Russell terriers. You call that diva behavior? A real diva would be out half a million at least. [TMZ]