You know how it is: you're a man. A red-blooded man. You enjoy consuming steaks, lifting iron in the gymnasium, and fucking your woman like, every day. But when you get older things change. To maintain your manhood, have you considered sucking estrogen from a fertile woman's body, like a vampire?

And we're not talking RBIs here, sports fans, we're talking inches. The gossip dowager is telling everyone what kind of bat Alex Rodriguez is playing with. Yes, we mean his penis!

Something is missing from this weekend's "Living Spring" edition of the New York Times' Sunday fashion magazine T. On the cover, you can see a lady with her mouth open, about to chomp on some sort of sandwich with her painted lips/teeth. There is a food theme if you look close: on one page, there's a piece on sausages, elsewhere there's one on ice creams and one on Japanese mochi. Also a thing on ice buckets in Tokyo bars. Whatever! The whole thing is quaint enough, but aggressively, nauseatingly girly through and through.