Today we heard that Simon Rich, wealthy son of New York Times writer Frank Rich and product of Dalton and Harvard, has a new movie in the works, in addition to a gig writing for SNL. Is that unfair?

• Lindsay Lohan is having another bad week. At the Whitney Museum of Art Gala last night, the "jelly-legged actress" had to hold on to a fence for "dear life" as she "stumbled out of the glitzy bash." But Mischa Barton was looking surprisingly put together, so that's good news, right? [Daily Mail, Sun]
• It's been a few years since Salman Rushdie and Padma Lakshmi split up, but the author is still obsessed with his ex-wife and talks about her "day and night," says Rushdie's most recent girlfriend, Broadway actress Pia Glenn. She also says Rushdie broke things off with her via email and may have been just using her for sex. [P6]
• Ali Wise, the socialite/ex-Dolce & Gabbana publicist who appeared in court yesterday on charges she hacked into a rival's phone, won't have to mount her defense until January. But there are four women now claiming Wise broke into their voicemail accounts now, not just one. [NYDN]

Martha Stewart turns 68 today. Tom Brady, the Patriots quarterback and father of Gisele Bundchen's fetus, is turning 32. Martin Sheen is 69. Tony Bennett is turning 83. Model Evangeline Lilly turns 30. Art-collecting heir Adam Lindemann is turning 48. Model Brooklyn Decker is 22. Sen. Roland Burris is turning 72. Mamie Gummer, an actress and the daughter of Meryl Streep, is 26. Actor Isaiah Washington is turning 46. And Salt-N-Pepa's DJ Spinderella turns 38 today.

• Is Madonna leaning on her friends to hire boy-toy Jesus Luz so he can remain in the country legally? It's possible! [P6]
• Tyra Banks is expected to take the stand this week at the trial of the man accused of stalking her and threatening her staff. [NYDN, NYP]
• Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt are sending their attorneys after the couple's former bodyguard to ensure he doesn't write a tell-all about life in the Brangelina home. [NYDN]
• Salma Hayek and Francois-Henri Pinault had a second wedding in Venice this weekend; guests on hand for the occasion included Anna Wintour, Ed Norton, Stella McCartney, Bono, Charlize Theron, Woody Harrelson, Lucy Liu, Penelope Cruz, and Javier Bardem. [NYDN, People]
• Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt tied the knot this weekend, too, although the event featured fewer A-listers and many more MTV cameras. [People]

• Mary Louise Parker was the center of attention at the Roundabout Theatre on Sunday for the opening night of her new Broadway show, Hedda Gabler. Parker and her co-stars, Michael Cerveris, Peter Stormare, and Paul Sparks, and the play's director Christopher Shinnas were joined at the play and after-party by Liza Minnelli, Joan Rivers, Blythe Danner, Mamie Gummer, Amy Irving, Billy Stritch, and Tovah Feldshuh. [PMc, Wireimage, GoaG]

• Contrary to breathless reports, Barack Obama was not the inspiration for Donatella Versace's latest collection, which he's probably relieved to hear. [FWD]