On Tuesday, an attacker believed to have stabbed multiple people after crashing into a Macy’s store in Massachusetts was shot by an off-duty police officer, WCVB-TV reports. Authorities say two victims and the suspect have died.

What of the humble “department store,” a physical space in which humans used to peruse goods that they now purchase on Amazon? According to one new analysis, the only way for department stores to live is to die faster.

“Stoner” rapper Young Thug was arrested by U.S. Marshals early Wednesday over a July 7 incident where he allegedly threatened to shoot a mall security guard in the face.

A teenager in Spartenburg, South Carolina was arrested on Tuesday for doing what any teen might have done in the face of desperation: Young Karla Farmer stole Rock Hard erection cream, handcuffs, and Deep Throat desensitizing spray from a local mall before getting scooped up by the cops. Teens have to teen.

Spoiler alert:

Augusta, Ga., police are investigating the theft of 200 pairs of panties from the Victoria's Secret location at the local mall. Security footage shows a man walking into the store around 11:45 a.m. on Friday, filling a bag with underwear, and walking out.

Dubai, a city in the United Arab Emirates that is home to creations and projects beyond our wildest Western dreams (all paid for with oil money), has announced it will begin building a new mega shopping center called Mall of the World, which will be the biggest mall on planet Earth.

Here are more shots from inside the dead White Flint Mall. Muzak still plays where the people no longer do.

Malls that were once active but have since been abandoned ("dead malls") are fascinating relics of greed, consumerism, and our increasingly antiquated analog way of life that required actual motion through space to get the material possessions we don't need, per se, but covet. They're also creepy and kind of sad, if you think about the unrealized dreams of the people to tried to sell you that shit you didn't need. Dead malls are sweeping the nation in that agonizingly slow manner that dead things sweep.

Many people do not go to the mall any more. But some people still go to the mall. And most people at least used to go to the mall. What is the number one store that draws you—or drew you—to the mall? Think. This is important.

"Are malls becoming extinct?" I'll say! And becoming, and becoming, and becoming...

With each passing year, it seems, American retailers find some way to make to make "Black Friday," the terrifying shopping day after Thanksgiving, a worse experience for their poor employees. This year is no exception.

Two gunmen who took 14 hostages at a Los Angeles mall last night have apparently escaped after an overnight standoff that involved the LAPD SWAT team locking down the mall and holding around 200 moviegoers in theaters until nearly 3 a.m. All 14 employees who were trapped in the Nordstrom Rack where the hostage situation unfolded have been found safe; KTLA reports that the LAPD is saying the suspects are still at large.

The Mall of Louisiana is described on its website as a source of "Exciting shopping, dining and entertainment in Baton Rouge." On Saturday night, that description seemed especially apt after a massive, 200 person flash mob in the mall turned into a giant brawl. According to reports, the fight broke out in the mall's food court, where roughly 200 teenagers had congregated for the "social media" inspired flash mob

The American mall is dying, and dying, and, let me check... yep, still dying. Not just big huge malls, but big-box stores, and strip malls, and everything else that consists of chain stores shaped like boxes, made out of plastic, selling crap. America, in other words. Now our national landscape is littered with the only thing worse than big box stores: empty big box stores. Hey, ho, is there any solution?

Most humans possessing a first-grade education—including precocious preschoolers—are well aware that shopping malls, once a glassy symbol of American cultural homogeny, are as dead as MusicLand. Dead-dead. And those that are not dead are dying. And the ones that already died are coming back as anything but malls. Because malls are, you know, pretty much dead. EXCEPT for those brave malls being dragged into the future—in a quirky way, if necessary.

The Great American Mall has been dying for years and years now. So long, in fact, that many malls are actually dead now! And what are we to do with all of these empty mall building carcasses? Ah, glad you asked!

Mall security is the worst, always kicking you out of the food court for not buying anything, then filing a suspicious activity report with the FBI. Private security officers have been trying to do counterterrorism at the Mall of America, with predictable results.

"Xanadu" was the original name of a plan dreamed up by Satan to blight the earth, in the form of an outrageously large, atrociously garish, criminally expensive, and blatantly unwanted shopping mall in New Jersey, Satan's earthly dominion. It costs nearly $4 billion! It's been in the process of being built for eight years! And it's still not finished, because nobody wants it! So... why don't you pay for it?

The Limelight Marketplace, the collection of high-end food, clothing and design booths in the building that once housed storied nightclub Limelight, is employing a new tactic. It's going to turn itself into one big department store. This was always just a bad idea.