Madonna regrets breaking up with Guy Ritchie because she's bored schtupping young men. Kate Major's still talking, for some reason, about Jon Gosselin. Leighton Meester went shopping and the SWAT team was called in. Here's your Saturday Morning Gossip Roundup:
• Madonna is taking her kids on the best summer vacation ever later this month: She's thinking about taking them to visit Auschwitz, so "they can learn about mistakes made in the past." If that doesn't pan out, she could always just invite Sean Penn and Guy Ritchie over for a visit and teach them the same lesson, couldn't she? [YNET]
• Paula Abdul announced over Twitter last night that she's leaving American Idol. True? Was she just drinking again? We'll find out soon enough. [NYDN]
• Hopeless romantic Kelly Bensimon made a move on Gerard Butler the other night, but the actor didn't reciprocate. Try your best to empathize. [NYDN]
• Great news: Ratings for Jon & Kate Plus 8 have tanked since the show came back from hiatus. Say a little prayer that this continues. [Us]
• Nominations for the MTV Video Music Awards were announced yesterday; Beyoncé and Lady Gaga came out on top, each earning nine nods. [THR]
Gerard Butler rejects Kelly Bensimon, Adam Lambert's fans throw sex toys at him, Ashley Olsen is surprised she didn't end up like Britney, Ryan O'Neal gave his 11-year-old son cocaine, Joan Rivers hates Jon Gosselin and Madonna plagiarizes a poet.
• Cameron Douglas, the son of Michael Douglas, was arrested at the Gansevoort Hotel last week. The crime? He had about $18,000 worth of meth with him, which he was planning to sell. [NYP]
• Mischa Barton's return to the party scene this past weekend wasn't entirely drama-free. She got upset and talked "frantically" as she recounted an episode with a stalker. Then she had a drink spilled on her when she went to a party at the Cooper Square Hotel. [P6]
• So much for Bethenny Frankel's plans to star in her own reality show. She says she'll be back for the third season of Real Housewives of NYC. [People]
• Jude Law's rep says that the actor recently found out that he's expecting a fourth child. The mom? She's "an unidentified former lover." Congrats? [EW, People]
• It was less than two weeks ago that Mischa Barton was put under psychiatric care after she going on a drug-fueled bender and suffering a breakdown. Now she's in NYC, putting in long hours playing a character with a drug problem. Maybe this isn't the best idea? [NYDN]
• Madonna's "secret weapon" to looking good, at least according to her longtime makeup artist? Her eyelids are dusted with "a mixture of white shadow and flawless, crushed rose-cut diamonds." Certainly sounds expensive! [SW]
• Is Vogue about to undergo a makeover with "a new circle of models" and "an influx of fresh, young photographers"? One blogger says yes; the magazine, however, says no. [Cut]
• Rachel Roy is partnering with Estelle to create a jewelry line. [WWD]
• Coach president Reed Krakoff has confirmed plans to launch an eponymous "lifestyle brand" for the company, as rumored. [FWD]
• Remember when Bethenny Frankel announced a few weeks ago that she was engaged to "a real estate bigwig" named Jason Hoppy? According to one "insider," the engagement may be a big publicity stunt, and Hoppy may be a "medical sales rep/personal trainer," not some property-owning master of the universe. [Fox News]
• A treasure trove of Madonna memorabilia, collected by one of her long lost ex-boyfriends, is going up for auction. Yes, 17 minutes of "erotic phone messages" could soon be yours. [P6, NYDN]
• Kim Kardashian and Reggie Bush have broken up. Tragic! [People]
• It looks like Dr. Conrad Murray gave Michael Jackson a dose of the powerful anesthetic propofol right before his death and that was what killed him. And it looks like Murray could face manslaughter charges because of it. [TMZ, NYDN]
• Mischa Baron says she's feeling better and is ready to go back to work. [Us]
This is the cover for Madge's new greatest hits collection. Well, it's more like the greatest hits of Marilyn Monroe, Andy Warhol, and late-80s Madonna chewed together, swallowed, and puked back up again. Mother of reinvention our ass.
An article in the latest issue of Out says that more gay bars are popping up all over the country. That is very true, and it could be the worst thing to happen to gay culture since Judy Garland Died.
Dumbledore could (and should) buy out the American auto industry. Madonna's dry thrusting leads to tragedy. Google Images will explode within the next few hours. And everyone is mean to the writers!
• The "unspecified medical condition" that led the police to take Mischa Barton to the hospital on Wednesday? She was placed under a 72-hour involuntary psychiatric hold, and she ended up missing the New York premiere of her new film, Homecoming, last night. [NYDN, P6]
• Britney Spears is dating her agent. But she's also spending alone time with her record producer, too. So she's keeping busy, clearly. [P6]
• Bethenny Frankel says she's hosting a new show called "Skinny & the City," but the woman who already owns the trademark to the name is going to see what she can do about that. [NYDN]
• Two people died in France after a set being constructed for an upcoming Madonna concert collapsed. It's all Madonna's fault, naturally. [People]
• Rubina Ali, one of the stars of Slumdog Millionaire, says she thought Nicole Kidman was "strange" after working with her on a commercial recently. [Us]
• Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie's relationship is on the rocks, reports the National Enquirer once again. But the couple has come up with the perfect way to rekindle the romance: They're hoping to film a sequel to Mr. & Mrs. Smith. [NE]
Jennifer Aniston and Gerard Butler are probably boning, Mischa Barton has a serious "medical issue," Jon Gosselin's new lady is a walking white-trash stereotype, The Hoff parties with Lady Gaga, Madonna has "bingo wings" and Robert Redford gets married.
Kim Cattrall breaks up with her man, Will and Jada Smith have lots of sex, Chace Crawford is moving out of Ed Westwick's place to get his own apartment downtown and Megan Fox is shopping for a house.
• Is Penelope Cruz with child? The only evidence seems to be that she looks a bit bigger these days, but if that's enough to convince you, feel free to pass the rumor on to everyone you know. [P6]
• Jesus Luz, Madonna's Brazilian model boyfriend, isn't happy that Madge has been spending time with her ex, and he's become "downright childlike" in his need for her constant attention. That might have something to do with the fact that he is a child, but whatever. [NYDN]
• Who says the love fades after 60? Jane Fonda is reportedly head over heels in love with her new boyfriend, music producer Richard Perry. And Robert Redford tied the knot with his younger German girlfriend over the weekend. [P6, People]
• Are Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie moving to NYC and into a giant apartment at the Apthorp? That's the rumor! [NYDN]
• The good news/bad news for Madonna: She's getting along much better with her ex, Guy Ritchie, which is a good thing. Unfortunately, the reconciliation isn't making Madonna's boyfriend, Jesus Luz, very happy. [DM]
• After six months in St. Lucia, Amy Winehouse is lonely, homesick, and deeply unpopular with the locals. So now she may return to the U.K. where she's totally adored, naturally, [DE]
• Boys will be boys: Leonardo DiCaprio looked like he was "on the prowl" in NYC last week. And Jeremy Piven looked like he was "ogling" Hayden Panettiere the other night. [P6, P6]
• In news that will delight Jews the world over, it seems Britney Spears is thinking about converting to Judaism. She's been seen wearing a Star of David necklace and has found a rabbi to, like, teach her about stuff, so she's well on her way, clearly. [Sun]
• Lindsay Lohan hasn't been getting too many acting roles what with all her personal problems as of late. But she may have found a way around that: She's starting her own film/TV production company. [THR]
• Jerry Seinfeld's rep says he not facing money troubles. But he is doing commercials for "a bank in the boonies of Australia," which can't be a good sign. [P6]
• Mariska Hargitay is back on the set of Law & Order: SVU after a mishap earlier this week sent her to the hospital for 13 stitches. [NYDN]
• Publicist Ali Wise was arrested earlier this week for hacking into Nina Freudenberger's voicemail. But she may not be the only victim out there. [P6]
