A man carrying two handguns and what appeared to be a machete was shot and killed inside a Walmart store in Stroudsburg, Pennsylvania, late Saturday night.

This crazy-ass cellphone video shows a man stalking an intersection in Oakland with a machete before being first backed into by a red sedan and then smacked hard by a white sedan. The man responds to being deliberately backed into by chopping the hell out of the side of the red car. The footage is certainly troubling.

A horrifying daytime attack by local terrorists armed with meat cleavers took the life of U.K. soldier Lee Rigby, who was butchered and left dead in the street in southeast London. The crazed killers shouted "Allahu Akbar" after completing their grisly crime and then demanded stunned passers-by take video.

Police raided Charlie Sheen's house last night looking for weapons after he was seen brandishing a machete from his balcony earlier in the week. He claims it wasn't his and it belongs to the "guy [he] was having a meeting with." Sorry, Charlie, that excuse didn't work when my mom found my bong when I was in high school and it's not going to work now.

A few years ago, Lipton Brisk Iced Tea ran all these commercials with claymation celebrities saying "that's brisk, baby!" Now, they're back, or at least one is: a 60 second recap of Machete, because why not and such.

Though Governor Rick Perry announced new movie-luring tax incentives at Robert Rodriguez's film studios in Austin last year, Rodriguez's film Machete has now been denied those rebates, seemingly because it "portray[ed] Texans or Texas in a negative fashion." Censorship!

A miracle of technology has allowed us to see Jessica Alba naked, even though she swore never to go nude in a movie: She filmed a Machete shower scene in her undies, which retouchers later peeled off, with computers.

Yup, it's been decided. You're next, Europe. Elsewhere this weekend, some old has-beens fared pretty well, people just kept on taking stuff, and a romantic comedy turned out to be something else altogether.

An early review of Robert Rodriguez's Mexploitation flick Machete indicates that the movie is both silly and heavy-handed: "it feigns outrageousness while too often opting to earnestly indulge in ... sincere political sermonizing." But, yeah, Lohan's naked, so. [Slant, via]

Here's an ultra-gory NSFW red band trailer for Robert Rodriguez's grindhouse feature Machete, based on a fake trailer from those other Grindhouse movies. We've seen footage of this movie a few times before, but none quite so Rodriguezianly (hah) bloody.

Grindhouse director Robert Rodriguez apparently put together an early trailer for star-studded Mexploitation film Machete as a "Cinco de Mayo message for Arizona," featuring the likes of Jessica Alba, Lindsay Lohan, and Danny Trejo fighting violently to protect illegal immigrants from racist politicians.

In honor of Cinco De Mayo, and shitty new Arizona immigration laws, here's a just-released trailer for Machete, Robert Rodriguez's gory grindhouse pastiche about people who "fucked with the wrong Mexican." Probably NSFW, definitely fun. And eerily timely.

Robert Rodriguez has adapted a fake trailer into a real movie. But then, what is 'real' and what is 'fake'? If you're having a crisis of authenticity you'll love today's reality-bending, adaptation-filled Trade Roundup.

Originally conceived as a fake trailer which ran between the two segments of 2007's Grindhouse, Robert Rodriguez's Machete looked so good it was made into a full film, scheduled for release in April, starring Danny Trejo as the titular antihero.