One imagines that the mind of the president is constantly occupied by the fate of the free world. This probably explains, for instance, why George W. Bush could barely read. Lyndon B. Johnson, though, was not your average president, for various reasons, but quite prominently that he was very concerned about the state of his penis.

Forty-seven years ago, President Lyndon B. Johnson needed pants. Pants that fit him better—as he put it—"where my nuts hang... back to my bunghole." Luckily, the phone call where he ordered those pants was recorded. For posterity.