Being an Olympian is awfully glamorous, isn't it? The fame, the fans, the adoring high-spirited support of an entire nation. Plus all those endorsement deals. Just look how rich these fuckers are. Though, sigh, look how poor ski jumpers are.

T.A.W., shit: texting and walking is dangerous! You know you've done it. But how dangerous is your reluctance to stop and engage in singular activities? If you're to learn anything from the youth of Staten Island, very. And there's video!