Not long ago, America's best and brightest young greedy bastards were piling into expensive law schools, confident they'd soon be wealthy older bastards. Then, law degrees became worthless. It's gotten so bad, young lawyers have resorted to doing something respectable.

How come law degrees are becoming more worthless every day? Because new law school grads can't find jobs. Why can't they find jobs? Because bitter old coot lawyers are clinging onto their offices for dear life. A vicious legal circle!

The sheriff in Nye County, Nevada decided that the county's district attorney was misusing public funds. So he had him arrested. But the DA declined to press charges against himself, and had the sheriff's deputy arrested. That's just the beginning.

Anyone possessing the power of sight and a rudimentary understanding of right and wrong can see that Patrick Pogan, the cop videotaped knocking a bike rider down for no reason, is an asshole. Not his fault, say his asshole defenders.

The Texas Court of Appeals ruled that a condemned man's execution should go forward even though the judge in his case was sleeping with the prosecutor. And the judge in question has an unintentionally comical rebuke, for her detractors!

Illinois hair crook Rod Blagojevich is calling on the feds to play all 500 hours of his expletive-laced corrupt horse-trading wiretap tapes, probably just to screw all the other people he talked to. Well, give him his wish, then. [NYT]

A year ago, interrupty superflack Ronn [sic] Torossian filed America's Greatest Lawsuit when he sued rival flack Drew Kerr for $20 million(!) for setting up a website—RonnTorosianPR.com—with a picture of a douche ad on it. Douche sayswhat?

Former tabloid reporter-turned Jon Gosselin love interest Kate Major is helping us with "punchlines," but for her they are just "decisions made by Kate Major." Lawsuit, why not?

The all-powerful National Pork Board has sicced its attorneys on make-your-own-clever-shirt site Neighborhoodies. The National Pork Board strongly disagrees with Alf's assertion that cats are "The Other White Meat."