Donald Trump this week hired a new national political director and forgot to tell his campaign, so things are going great over there—thanks for asking.

One of Donald Trump’s surrogates this week gave a new reason for why the candidate seems so confident he can get Mexico to pay for a wall: There isn’t really going to be a wall.

A small group of conservatives, who have been watching in horror as people who are not white straight men enjoy the same constitutional protections and benefits, are reportedly planning for a “battle” at the national convention. Ironic, in that they’re finally fighting for minorities—themselves.

Jon Stewart isn’t dead but he might as well be—the man hasn’t appeared on television in months, leaving the once-robust television-blog ecosystem shriveled and weak in the hands of that guy who replaced him (if he’s even still on the air.) But rejoice! This week Stewart popped up at the United Service Organization 75th anniversary event at the Joint Base Andrews in Maryland to introduce Joe Biden, and if you can even believe it—he made a joke about Donald Trump.

Trump, campaigning ahead of this week’s New York GOP primary, gave a speech to a group of supporters Monday night in Buffalo, where he spoke fondly of the brave 7-11 responders.

Michael Cohen, an executive vice president at the Trump Organization and special counsel to Donald Trump, retweeted on Sunday evening an endorsement from @RepStevenSmith, Republican from Georgia’s 15th Congressional District, Tea Party Patriot, and parody account.

“A man who nearly drove his sports utility vehicle over a cliff in the posh beach front community of Malibu managed to escape his dangling car unharmed, only to be hit by a passing bus as he stumbled away from the wreckage, police said.”

“Mr. de Blasio said he was blindsided and angered by the developments. But a review of city records, correspondence and lobbying reports suggests that the city mismanaged the situation, accepting more than $16 million to pave the way for precisely the type of luxury housing it has sought to limit.”

Chris Christie today endorsed Donald Trump for president by giving a speech about Hillary Clinton.

Donald Trump today released a delightfully rude statement calling Ted Cruz an unhinged liar and threatening to sue Cruz unless Cruz meets a list of his demands.

Tonight’s Fox News Republican debate is co-sponsored by Google, and the moderators have repeatedly instructed viewers to “go to Google and search Fox News Debate,” in order to vote for the candidate you thought won. If you do that, you see this sponsored result.

On Saturday, Mark Karpeles, CEO of bankrupt bitcoin exchange Mt. Gox, which collapsed spectacularly last year, was arrested in Tokyo on suspicion of illicitly stealing $1 million from the online financial platform, the New York Times reports.

I cannot tell a lie—this tattoo is kind of genius and the airline that called the police and banned this man for sharing it with his fellow travelers needs to get over itself real quick!!

Antibiotic-resistant flesh-eating infection Lanny Davis published a column in the Hill yesterday deploring the media's terrible rush to judgment against NFL commissioner Roger Goodell. Because the NFL's self-commissioned investigation into the Ray Rice scandal failed to find evidence that the league had done wrong, Davis wrote, all the various outlets that had reported on the other evidence of the league's wrongdoing owed Goodell an apology.

Cops: some people hate them, some people think they're pretty swell, actually. But regardless of how you feel about the 5-0, you can't deny that a dude wiping out in full riot gear is pretty funny.

It's Monday, and the world is an unforgiving nightmare, so here's some schadenfreude to lighten your day: at a rally held in France by the often-topless feminist group Femen, a riot gear-clad cop totally beefed while trying apprehend the sprinting horde of bare-chested ladies.

Generational stereotypes are grotesquely dumb and unfair, which makes it entertaining when someone genuinely lives up to one. Obviously people in their 20s are not the complacent, self-esteem-bloated solipsists that the popular culture supposes them to be.

At a meeting of the Las Vegas Asian Chamber of Commerce yesterday, Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid thought he'd try out a couple of jokes. About Asians. "I don't think you're smarter than anybody else, but you've convinced a lot of us you are," he said at the end of his speech. The audience laughed politely.

Justin Bieber just posted the above photo to Instagram. It's a photo of Orlando Bloom crying, or a photo of Orlando Bloom looking like he's crying, in case you were wondering if Bieber had an official comment on the most hilarious beef of the year/decade/century/millennium/Willennnium.

You’ve probably read BuzzFeed’s long profile of Donald Trump, in which political reporter McKay Coppins explains the absurdity of the businessman’s political aspirations and the “yes-men” who enable them (one of whom Trump quickly fired). Even if you haven’t read it, the editors of Breitbart.com sure have.