Sears is a company that has become almost entirely redundant, is outflanked by competitors on all sides, and stands ready to poison the reputation of the financial genius who last bought it, Eddie Lampert. The store is not as cheap as Wal-Mart, not as good as Macy's, and not as convenient as Amazon. It's an old retailer desperate for a revolutionary change to resurrect it from the grave. So how is Sears going to claw its way back into the competitive fashion market? By hiring LL Cool J to start a clothing line for it, of course! This is such an appropriately crappy idea:

It looks like Eddie Lampert, the beleaguered billionaire chairman of Sears/Kmart, has a new secret weapon to revive the company's fortunes: LL Cool J. The struggling big-box chain signed up the rapper to design a children's line called LL Cool J for Sears, according to WWD, which will include items like $22 graphic T-shirts and $50 pairs of jeans. The upcoming ad campaign will feature J with his wife, Simone, and their four kids: Najee, Italia, Samaria and Nina. And to think some investors have been concerned that the company is lacking in big, brand names now that Kmart's deal with Martha Stewart will come to an end in 2010.

The dinner party sighted last night at Nobu 57 invites so many questions. Is Uma Thurman making a hip-hop album? Or launching an urban-themed clothing line? Or guest-starring on 30 Rock? Or just making new friends on some sort of celebrity Facebook none of us know about? The possibilities are intriguing. Let's just hope she watches Letterman and uses protection.

Tina Brown's Times column is so recognizable, they don't even feel the need to print her byline anymore. (You should just know it's TINA!) This week's highlight: Henry Kissinger ponders Joe Millionaire. "It's puzzling," he says, "that women want to compete for such a dunce." Added bonus: Tina quotes LL Cool J lyrics.
Americans are from Mars; Iraqis are from Venus [Times2]